Saturday, October 29, 2011

It's that big kid again

The other day, my daughter was talking to me about what treat I would like to make for her to bring to school on Halloween. I could've pretended that I didn't want to make anything, but the girl knows I need a purpose! As we were reviewing some options, the husband child announced that he was thinking about have an office warming party for himself. Um...interesting concept and choice of time to make such a declaration. "What does that have to do with us?" Uh-oh, there was a baked goods discussion going on when he piped up..."Are you asking me to make something for your open house?" Yes, he was...No, we weren't invited...Yes, Halloween was the day he'd hold his event.

Forward to this afternoon...The activities coordinator man child motioned to the stack of candy coupons on the counter, while making some inquiries into my trick-or-treat inventory. I told him I was probably going to go my usual route of giving out Blow-pops. He figured he was probably going to pick up some candy for his shin-dig. I questioned why he needed to splurge on name brand extras when I was already called into baking service. The next request was for some balloons. Uh, I don't recall there being balloons for my BIRTHDAY last week! I apparently was not recognizing his office being moved to a different building as the truly huge deal that it is.

We decided (when I announced) that the menu would consist of cut-out cookies, brownies and caramel corn (a sort of Halloween meets Charlie Brown Thanksgiving menu). I asked how many people he thought we should plan on. Due to his new real estate being in a busy hallway, he thought there could be a lot of traffic. However, he has not invited anyone as of yet, so I maintain that folks might have other plans.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Friday, October 28, 2011

I can see clearly now...

Ah, I remember the days when Friday was a celebration of a week's worth of work well done. Sure that work shifted from not hurting anyone in a cubicle near me, to not letting any harm come to small people who gave me even less personal space than said cubicle. Now, I sense another shift in the air. Sure, I have the thrill of togetherness and sleeping in to look forward to on the weekends, but seem to be coming up a little empty on what accomplishments I have made during the week. I fear I am becoming...lazy.

I am swimming in this sort of limbo land trying to figure out if it is okay to be content with being content. Can I fill each day with things that make me happy, even if they don't contribute to the family piggy bank? If I haven't tackled at least one miserable task, did I make enough of an effort? How many dust bunnies are too many? Is there something I can take for procrastination? If so, I'll wait and look into it tomorrow. This is not to be mistaken for the pity party I briefly tried to organize for myself last Friday. This is just a call (to myself, that you happen to be eavesdropping on) to define myself. I kind of like the way I've been blowdrying my hair recently and thought maybe I could capitalize on that effort and continue the forward momentum...maybe even incorporate the bottle of hair dye, (read: gray hair disguise system) I bought two weeks ago, into my plan.

I think I might just need to fine tune my to-do lists. Lately I have been keeping stuff off the list that I don't want to do. The pile of stuff I need to list on eBay could consume me before I deal with it! To put it on the list though, for the whole family to see, could result in a public notification of my failure if I continue to ignore it though. Yes, I said public failure, because what else does my teenage son talk about at lunch other than his mother's to-do list? Sheesh!

What if I tell you what I want to get done next week? Or with the rest of today even? Hmmmm...maybe this post would've been easier if I just shortened it up a bit and told you about how I started to reverse the aging process this week. I know, I didn't even set out to do so as I had barely realized that my birthday went by. I went to the Department of Motor Vehicles yesterday to deal with my license that had expired on Sunday. ( there's something else I did this week, oh, and some laundry.) The lady at the lucky window I approached saw me as some sort of underachiever and had me read line seven, out of twelve. I did just fine, and when I removed my glasses for the photo shoot I thought was sure to come next, I realized that I could read all of the letters still. When I told her this, she asked me to read line eight, and then wrote "remove corrective lenses" on my papers. I was almost disappointed that I didn't get to read that very small line twelve, like the person across from me. I am sure Mrs. DMV registered this as the feat it was, and experienced much more excitement for me after I left.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Good Times!

So when Jillsmo over at Yeah. Good Times. asked me (oh, and the rest of the free world) to guest post, I was really excited, and panicked. She is a funny lady, with a funny blog, and I didn't want to go muck up her space. She's also really gorgeous...see for yourself...her hair is my envious!

Anyways, I decided that I could pluck one of the more humorous tales from the general minutia of my day to entertain folks with. She even offered to use her super fab drawing skills to illustrate the post for me. I was still in a quandary over how I looked, but I put on my big girl panties and asked Jillsmo for some help, and do you know what? She gave me all of the help I needed to feel beautiful and confident...see? Sure, I might look a little heavier than her, but my girls are perky and my hair's so smooth.
Maybe It's Just Me!

Jillsmo even shared her techno-wizardry to make this a little button linky doo-dad! (Yep, that's the technical term.) Go on, grab it for a piece of flair for your own blog. It's ok to admit you've been here!

So today's the day! Yeah. Good Times. Head on over and visit me where the cool kids hang out! (Quick, before they make me leave!)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Random leaves and thoughts in the air

Speaking of leaves, my grandmother is taking her time getting worked up about the leaves in her yard this year. It will happen though, as it does every year. She is just distracted by the bushes that she thinks need trimming. I got that phonecall today, as I might've made the offer yesterday, out loud, to help...before my brain could stop me. The reason autumn's glory carpeting her yard agitates her is that the leaves are NOT from her trees. Yes, she has trees, but her leaves are much more compliant about not making pests of themselves. The trespassers are from the neighbor's yard...her neighbor of forty years, and we are talking huge trees, nothing recently planted just to cause trouble.

OK, what is with the "text enhance" and the green double lines, and why isn't anybody else talking/complaining about it? Am I the only one who doesn't know how to make it go away? I have nothing against the color green, or double lines for that matter. I just find it distracting and hate when I accidentally click on them. Maybe it's just me?

I fully accept the fact that Sunday football game advertisements are targeted at drinking, boob loving, little blue pill needing dudes. I do wish they would take in to consideration the fact that kids like sports too, but whatever. I was a little disappointed to see that the gameshow network is targeting senior citizens. Really? Is that who's watching Baggage and the Newlywed Game (besides my kids, who by the way, don't need portable catheters.) I think it is safe to say that the Food Network has a strong following of food lovers and decent cooks, so why are they running Arby's commercials?! And thank you very much Nickelodeon for running Glucosin weight loss ads. A little something extra for my eleven year old daughter to ponder, as she hopes to not need Proactiv (no matter how fabulous Jessica Simpson's skin looks).

I wish Wendy's drive thru wouldn't try to confuse me by putting a lid on my Frosty, with a opening in the top, and giving me a spoon that doesn't fit in it. Nor were they planning to give me a straw.
(BTW...I was stopped at a light, and my copilot was helping.)

Now I am torn about my wishes for Princess Kate. This commemorative tin of tea is not even a fraction of the price, AND I would have Prince What's His Face to gaze longingly at over my cup of English Breakfast tea. Two styles to choose from...oh, the indecision!
I would've gladly paid $50 for some of that!!!!
For $24.99 you get self-esteem with the knock off boots (oops, not pictured) make you feel confident about not spending five times that on Ugg's.

Aack! (Channeled my inner Cathy there.) Look what those butterflies did to the butterfly bush! Unless it was the wind?

Note to self: Yes, those new vitamins you're taking are really huge, but don't break them in half. Clearly the shape of a whole one has something to do with you not nearly choking on them, or having the edge scratch so much on the way down!

Phew! All of that random was getting heavy to tote around. Thanks so much to Stacy for giving us somewhere to unload! Stop on by, and pay her a visit!


Sunday, October 23, 2011

You say it's your birthday...It's my birthday too, yeah!

Where was my birthday cheer this year? Maybe it was my own poor attempts at event planning, as I headed to the gyn office for my annual appointment on Friday afternoon to get things rolling. I questioned the mega-pap smear I received and asked if it was an early birthday gift...geesh!

Then I tried a little denial on for size. I was pretending that the dozen roses that my husband brought home on Friday were just to randomly celebrate what a sheer joy I am to live with. I had a couple of small mental pity party rehearsals as I braced myself for the big day.

This morning when I woke up, I quietly grabbed the book I am reading (Hope in a Jar, if you're interested...Hope in a Jar, if you're not interested). I figured I could get lost in someone else's world for a few pages before the house started to stir.

As a treat, the husband spared me from having to walk the dog, so he got up to do so. The first visitor was the daughter with a smile on her face so big, you'd have thought it was her birthday. She hopped in my bed, melting a little bit of my grinchy heart. Soon after, the son arrived with his groggy sounding wishes, and hopped in on the other side. I continued to thaw as the three of us chatted about nothing in particular, other than the girl teasing that the boy didn't even know where his gift was, and other indications that her efforts surpassed his. For some reason we even ended up getting each of our lovies to join us...
The boy has two of the same, because we were smart enough to purchase a second in case something ever happened. We were not smart enough to rotate properly, and he caught on and wanted both. They have been loved equally and wear their patches proudly! When we called the toy company for a second lamb for the girl, realizing how much he was to be loved, he'd been discontinued. The thing on the right is my mouse, the plush of his armpit being the all that remains of his original hair. I think that is the third eye color he's had. Is there anything to the theory that the more we are loved the worse we might look to those who didn't do the loving?

The dog arrived next, followed by the husband. The son went first in the gifting. He did hear my exclamations when I broke my favorite strainer the other day! Proof he does not tune me out completely, even if he wishes he could. (Sorry kiddo, you got that from me.)
He got me a book as well, possibly in hopes that I will tune out (and be quiet).

The husband went next, and demonstrated fabulous knowledge of what I would want...
My favorite show! I listened to the CD already, and it is simply awesome!

The daughter grabbed her gift bag, and was going to hold back her card, after announcing she was the only one to have one. It proclaimed to love me to the moon..."and possibly back". She apparently knew I would not be able to take anything too mushy. Among the items in her gift bag were: some popsicle stick people, that I had bugged her for awhile to get off the end table, some shampoo from the last hotel we stayed at, a car freshener that had been hanging around in her room (still wrapped mind you) leftover from some end of the school year gift giving (inside jokey), and last, but certainly not least, this t-shirt...
Further proof that my children hear everything, and my family knows me oh so very well. Never mind the fact that I was the one trying to track down an orange shirt yesterday, with no success. This shirt was an emergency grab by her father, after the kids texted him of our failure. Oh, and really, never mind that we saw this same orange shirt in Target on our quest, and it was deemed "not acceptable". I caught on later in the day that I would be the recipient of said shirt, but this was not at all what I expected when she asked for help tracking down the fabric markers.

I may not have a crown, but have certainly been our own version of queen-for-the-day so far. Breakfast orders were taken...donut and bagel consumed. These boxes arrived with the breakfast delivery...
Super lame wrapping job, I know, am not sure how many folks he was shopping for, but only four of us live here! I felt my head blitz a little after hoovering the custard doughnut, so I must take precautions before digging into the rest of this gloriousness!

Yes, life is sweet. Yes, I have stopped pouting. Yes, I have much to celebrate! Happy Birthday to me, indeed!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Dirty work feels dirty sometimes.

I need to have a serious talk with myself about what sorts of goals I would like to see achieved, or even attempted, by this body I inhabit. If I don't recognize yesterday as the kick in the pants it should be, then I am truly hopeless.

I had a babysitting gig for a five year old little guy for most of the morning. When I arrived at his house, his father told me the place was a mess and suggested I leave, indicating that a bag with snack and such was already packed. I was really getting the sense that he meant for us to leave...pronto. A couple of things to note:
1) I am also their cleaning lady on Fridays.
2) It was 8:15 in the morning...seriously, where were we going?

He then mentioned that I could drop his son off to him at work after 11:30. A couple of things to note:
1) Seriously, where were we going to kill three hours?
2) His place of employment is the preschool classroom I worked in two years ago that gave me all sorts of anxiety filled and unfuzzy feelings.

My little friend seemed to be looking for something on the floor, so I picked up most of the playroom before dad had even left. We then went to look for something else in the living room, that was mostly clutter free (from the floor's perspective) by 8:40. We decided to just play, as he really seemed to be enjoying himself.

At 11:30, we left for the drop-off. On the ride over I started to realize the reality that I was going to have to face the uber-woman at preschool, along with who knows how many other former coworkers! Shit! I did not have time to conjure up a decent storyline for myself. No time to call in the spin-doctors to make what I have done with myself in the two years since leaving that job seem full of merit.

**Note: I do not think the uber-woman sets out to judge. She is just so self-confident and comfortable in her own skin, and good at what she does that someone like me is rendered a helpless babbling idiot.**

After the little guy knocked on the closed classroom door, I could hear his father on the other side acknowledging the sounds. I took a deep breath. After smiling at his dad I looked over at a young woman I had never seen before. the next person to come into view was someone else I had never seen before. I felt socially awkward. In the next second father was walking towards me sort of backing me out of the door and closing it part way behind him. His son started to protest from the classroom, but dad pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket to settle up from the babysitting and two past weeks of housecleaning. Seriously? Right there? Right then? In the hall? I didn't deliver crack, I dropped off his child. My own awkward vibes started to commingle with his apparently awkward vibes, mixed with confusion over what on earth he felt awkward about. (Or had my ability to read people just completely collapsed?) He just handed me a bunch of bills and said we could work out later if he was ahead or behind. Then it all just felt so shady. All I could think was "What the f*ck am I doing?" I did not have henchmen with me, as I am not a loan shark either!

The classroom door closed, and I was just minutes from ducking past the two women at the front desk and into the safety of my car.

Then I saw a familiar friendly face...and she asked me if I had a vacuum cleaner..."yes, two"...because hers had died. A couple of things to note:
1) She is one of those really talented people who is also amazing at her job.
2) She had called me in to vacuum her whole house over the summer as she got ready to host a big family party.

She said she might call me again if she didn't get a new one soon. Great. Maybe we could meet in an alley for me to pick up my pay.

In more chin lifting news, I reached my latest goal of 75 followers today. I guess to celebrate I move the mark to 100?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wordless Wednesday Wish I could crochet!

(A few words: It's probably not a good idea to get the Lion's Brand Newsletter if yarn makes you all thumbs like me. I am instantly happy when I see things like this...then suddenly sad that I lack the necessary skills.)

For links to more wordless fun, check out Stacy and Wordless Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

There's a little bit of Random Tuesday stuck to your sleeve

OK, let's get right to it, as the clock is ticking! My birthday is less than a week away, and if you haven't already ordered my Baby Babu, you might want to change your plans...
I know it says it makes the perfect Christmas gift, but who can wait that long? I realize that the $149.99 (which sounds way cheaper than $150) is a nice bit of change, but come on...
You'll be giving me happily ever after...FOREVER! Just sayin'!

This woman obviously needs someone to help her out with her unhappily, uncomfortably ever after...
Seriously, who are these people who have such poor access to decent medical care that they decide "I'm going to write a letter, and wait...a very long time possibly...and check the newspaper every day in hopes that Dr. Donohue hears my call"? He's not even wearing a lab jacket, so I'm not sure if he is to be trusted. I am sorry that I cut the response, in the event that you too were looking for relief from interstitial cystitis. To paraphrase, I believe the advice was something like: SEE ANOTHER DOCTOR!

I was so unmotivated yesterday that I think I would've cried if it could've taken less effort. When I finally decided to clean out the bread basket (yes, I went for the tasks of huge improvement), I ended up spending over thirty minutes making pita chips, as if protecting that $1 package of pita bread from being thrown out was the best use of my time. I also tried to finish the book I was reading because then I could put it away. Yes, that book was the largest mess in the house, seriously?

What does this type of sky mean I should prepare for? Luckily it provided just one more distraction in my day yesterday. This really doesn't capture the feel, but hints at the weirdness, I hope.

To make up for the lack of productivity while I was home alone, I decided to rotate my closet after dinner (maybe that gave the illusion to everyone that I'd been a work horse all day). Happy, happy fall clothes! I was not comforted at all by the allergy attack that was triggered in that closet. I guess it is good to know that it took just over ten years for the dust in there to reach itchy throat proportions! There is a very small part of my brain that knows this means I should haul EVERYTHING out and let Mr. Dyson go crazy in there, but it's a very small part...not very loud at all.

I guess I'll try to finish that book now, and make sure nobody left any chocolate lying around...those are two messes I just can't take!

Stacy is still rocking the random. She hasn't kicked us out yet, so click on over and check out what's falling out of her mind, as well as links to other random thoughts!


Sunday, October 16, 2011

An apple a day

I remember when I was a kid, we knew just a few families who took their grocery shopping super seriously. They went so far as to hit the dairy for milk and the butcher at the meat market for the finest cuts. When I first got married, I used to shop at three different grocery stores, but more for economical than quality reasons. I could not let triple coupons go to waste, or frequent shopper cards go unswiped.

About a year ago, I realized my grocery list making plan was a bit flawed. I would look at the coupons, and add anything that looked yummy to the list. I probably still have things in the cupboard that were purchased under this system. The reality was that these were not the products we necessarily used. I also fell victim to the "$1 off 2" coupons. I was spending more money each week to save a couple of "extra" dollars. Now I make my list, with great assistance from the girl child, then see if I happen to have coupons for anything on it. I am not saying this is rocket science, but rather am admitting that I took the learning curve rather slowly.

I wonder how much further away from my original point I can stray...

In addition to being a Wegmans shopper, (what's good for Carol Baldwin is good for me) I also have some brand loyalty requirements. I am a Honey Maid graham cracker girl. Do not look at the price, just get me that navy value box (because I like them better than the red box variety). Do not try to pass off anything that is not a Thomas' English muffin as having the appropriate amount of nooks and crannies. I will eat store brand English muffins, but I will not enjoy them. I want Philly cream cheese, and yes, I CAN believe it's not butter. I recently decided that the savings on store brand chocolate chips is not worth messing with my cookies.

Oh, I think my point is coming into focus...

If you are going to offer me an apple, I am going to ask you what kind it is. Is this a regional thing (or a crazy lady thing)? There are not many varieties that I will turn down (sorry Golden Delicious and Macintosh that have been laying around for awhile). I think a lot of people think apples are apples, but this is not so. During this time of year, our family takes full advantage of the several varieties available to us here in Central New York. The are some kinds I only like to eat right off the tree. I only like to pick at one orchard near us because it is well managed. While they may only let you pick certain kinds of the fourteen varieties they have on certain days, you can be rest assured that the trees the tractor drops you off at will be fully loaded. (husband)

We picked three kinds today: Empires, Red Delicious (not my choice, but they were nearby), and Fujis. Delightful! It was a bit chilly out, which is perfect, as I have no interest in apple picking on an eighty degree day. Did I mention it was windy?
(Really? This is how I get captured?)

I already made applesauce twice this year with some Cortland apples from a neighbor's tree. I made another batch with Crispins...oh and another with a Jona Gold and Ida Red mix. Somebody last year told me that Mott's uses Ida Reds, so of course I had to try it (not that any jarred applesauce is a product I strive for). Oh, maybe it goes without saying that we don't buy a lot of applesauce anymore. My son uses it as a condiment or gravy substitute. There is no such thing as us having too much of it in our house. There are jars for holiday gift giving and flat storage bag squares in the freezer. Perhaps it will also come as no surprise that we went through over 150 pounds of apples during autumn, 2009. I used Northern Spys one year for sauce, and the finished product had a distinct pear taste. I like pears, but not when I am eating applesauce.

Please excuse the ramblings, as I am coming down from a sugar high that was induced by my eating an order of apple fritters with a fresh fudge chaser. Hmmm...maybe the fritter shack and the twelve fudge varieties have something else to do with my choice of orchards.

Now I am not going to tell you which apples are the best, as I recognize that it is a very personal choice. I am also not of the belief that there is one way to make an apple pie (as long as there isn't an excessive amount of nutmeg). Wanna be the apple of my eye and tell me your stand on apples? Please do! Shout out any regional favorites you have from where you live too!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

It might be Tuesday!

Four day weekend + travel = mental calendar shutdown! Spending eight hours in the car left plenty of time to collect random thoughts. Luckily, Stacy is providing a place for me to unpack them. She is a super swell hostess, but don't get too close, or you might catch her cold. When you are done here, go visit and bring her some tissues!

While this sign intrigues me, as I might like to watch a "meat raffle", I operate under the assumption that the best Italian food comes from folks who can actually spell "Italian".

Last week this was going on in my back yard...
Doesn't this seem like the sort of thing the town would notify homeowners about? Thank goodness those backhoes have the "I am in reverse" beeping feature. Even better was the fact that the two operators (there was a second backhoe) were clearly taking turns going backwards to keep the beeping steady all, seriously, ALL afternoon.

Spongebob is showing his best yoga moves to try to sooth me after I read the reports that he causes a decrease in brain function when children watch his show.
And I thought I was just a bad parent because he encourages an annoying laugh and words like "imbecile".

It's pretty dark out in the morning when my son is getting ready for school. While we are not true vampires, neither of us turn on many lights as we bumble through our routine. Although, considering what was going on in the donut box I fed him out of last week, I might want to flick on an extra bulb.

Before you phone me in, he ate one of the powdered ones (white and powdery...not greenish and fuzzy). I think he had a yogurt as well, and yes, that is how I can justify a donut every once and awhile. Thanks to the daughter for notifying me of the situation, as she turned down a chocolate one, for there is a chance those might've appeared again the following dark morning.

I was not aware that our skeleton friend was poseable. I don't know the reason for the shame my daughter cast upon him, or if he is just Kung-fu fighting (you're welcome if that song gets stuck in your head).

While I was away, I got to take in a Trader Joe's visit with my sister..woo-hoo! We have his nowhere near as cool brother store, Aldi's in our neck of the woods. I grabbed the usual standards, and made a conscious effort to not break my current record for amount spent. I was much less stressed knowing I can return next month. Since I wasn't going hog wild, I decided to try a few new odds and ends. I got two 70% dark chocolate bars with caramel and sea salt (excuse me, not just any sea salt, but black sea salt from Hawaii). Oh. My. Goodness. I ate four squares yesterday (feeling safe as the store was still less than twenty minutes away), ate one square today and shared two with my mother. Now that I am home, I wonder how I will ration the remaining nine squares for the next forty-four days. How much Halloween candy will I have to consume to satiate my desire for that which I cannot have. (Just guessing that the squares will be a faded melty memory twenty days from now.) There were other varieties, but I think I will refrain on the next trip, as how could they be as yummy, or worse...what if they are even yummier!?
Moving on...

There is no place like GNOME! And since we had kidnapped someone's gnome, we couldn't return him empty handed...

Speaking of gnome, home, whatever! It was super awesome to return home to a package on the porch! The Swapoween fairy came!
Thanks to the super fab hosts Beth at Living a Goddess Life and Miss Angie at My So-Called Chaos! Most of all, thanks to my wicked fun swap partner Mary at My Family...My World for such thoughtful and spooktacular goodies. I can't wait to use them all!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Time to pack it in

We were getting ready to go out of town yesterday morning. Well, let's face it, I was running around like a loon while the children took up residence on the couch for yet another inspirational episode of Spongebob. There was no "we" about it. In an attempt to recruit volunteers to join my packing efforts, I asked for a status update.

Me: Son, did you put away your laundry and pack your clothes?
Boy: Yes.
Me: Wow! You did?
Boy: Oh. No.
Me: Um, which part didn't you do?
Son: Any of it.
Me: So what question did you think you were answering?

Some further discussion on listening etiquette ensued before I strongly suggested he get a move on. He voyaged upstairs, and made short work of his tasks. As he bumbled down the stairs, the sister suggested that his method of packing might have involved just putting all of his laundry into his duffle bag. Accusation denied...sort of.

I proceeded upstairs to assess the contents of his bag to make sure they would suffice for a three day trip. I was impressed that there was an appropriate amount of boxers, but my enthusiasm ended there. There were six pairs of socks, which seemed extreme for someone who usually neglects to change his socks on vacation. There was the correct amount of the rest of the items, but I am not certain which were intended to be paired together. See for yourself...
There are universally acceptable black bottoms, but the forecast was eighty-three degrees, and those are pants. I made some minor adjustments, and brought the bags downstairs. The next time I passed the bags, this is what I saw...
I am all for traveling with friends, but seriously? The son moved very fast when he saw me running to get my camera. (Sorry Kiddo.) Luckily, Domo comes in many sizes!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Just another random day

This morning started like any other Monday, which stunk because it is Tuesday! The 4:15 a.m. nosebleed was a swell kickoff. Since I like both cookies, and being able to walk comfortably, I put my illustrious jogging career on the back burner, and opted for the dreaded elliptical once again. I have not done much to eradicate the mess going on in the room where the exercise takes place, so I just pretend I am running away from the disaster (even though I am pointed in the wrong direction...heading straight for the obstacle course). 6:50 a.m. I was wrapping things up when the dog started barking (which he almost never does). The husband had already left (not a typical morning), the son had left, and the girl child was scheduled for fifteen more minutes of slumber. The bark was brief, but then I heard a knock on the front door, and he began his lunatic alert again. I couldn't imagine anything good was waiting behind door number one at such an hour, but I tried to carefully, yet quickly get off the torture device. I then tried to make my way safely down the stairs, convinced that the adrenaline rush made up for missing the last 37 seconds of my goal time. My son was at the locked door informing me that his bus had not come yet, and could they have a ride. It was fifteen minutes past the usual pickup time. I was not processing information very quickly with my pajama wearing, exercise interrupted, gosh it's dark out self. I knew I did not WANT to take the thirty minute round trip journey, but also knew there was no reason I COULD not. I woke the daughter and pleaded that she not fall back to sleep in my brief absence, grabbed the keys, and had them to school fairly early by the looks of things. I asked them if they were overachievers who just couldn't handle the thought of arriving late, as it would've been excusable when they arrived with the rest of their bus load. No big deal in the end, but at that moment..UGH!

Stacy is continuing to rock the Random Tuesday Thoughts party...thank goodness, because where else would I put these gems?! When you are done here, pay her a visit to see what she's up to, and check out the links to more randomness!


The Foz must've sensed my occasional sadness at the lack of toddlers in our home, so he has started acting up whenever I am on the phone. He just sits and stares at me grumbling (more like he is trying to speak than actual growling). Then this afternoon, while I was on the phone, he made some indications that he would like to go outside. He rarely strays more than five feet off the deck, but assuming I was distracted, he started marching into the neighbors yard while giving me a look over his "shoulder". (Is that a dog part?) He has no appreciation of cordless phone technology and was disappointed that I was able to just walk outside and get him.

Do not stress about holiday shopping this year! Just get this gem for EVERYONE on your list! "Most lifelike simian sweetheart ever"? Wow, how long and how many people have been working on this?
The soft wisps of hair are hand-applied in case that seals the deal for ya. I was alarmed for a moment when I saw this same ad on the 'fridge at a friend's house last week. As she motioned towards it, I thought "Oh please, please don't let her actually want this ordered!" Sweet relief to find out that she just found it as hilarious as I did! Make no mistake, because the fine print says "not a toy, but a fine collectible". Did I mention fully poseable? (But don't play with it.)

Soon winter (and snow) will be upon us here in Central New York. I am fairly certain that whoever designed this product doesn't live anywhere with real snowfall.
In order for me to be able to lift that magic cover, without dumping everything right onto my car, the total accumulation would have to be fairly in too small to bother with anything beyond the windshield wipers or a very quick brushing. This is reminiscent of trying to make a large bed by oneself with all of the reaching and maneuvering. Then I can stand outside and try to fold the thing up to fit in its storage bag? I'm thinking there is a significant risk that it will be cold out when I am trying to finangle that, maybe even windy. OK, I also notice it keeps your windshield dirt-free...where the hell are you parking?

I just received a text from the husband requesting that I dvr Glee and the Biggest Loser for him. Nice to know he is confident in his own masculinity.

In closing, my quest to get the poorest customer service available continued today at the Verizon Wireless store...yeah, I decided to call them out on it...right here, right now. Anybody else out there feeling Verizon love? We have three cell phones, home phone, internet and television through that company, but apparently you have to birth the CEO's love child to get any respect from them.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Gone to the dog

Since I remain unimpressed by yet another Monday, between the allergies and the nosebleeds and the way those two things are playing so beautifully off one another, this post is being turned over to the dog. He has been trying to hide these choice photos for some time now, but alas they have surfaced! Without further ado, here's Fozzie trying to defend his honor...

Me: Seriously Foz, you can't figure out where that Sugar Smack went?
Foz: Yeah, I've seen you with a fair amount of smudge clinging to you on a regular basis as well.
(One point for Foz)

Me: Oh, I see here we have further evidence of your infatuation with cats, who are not amused by you, by the way. Why can't you be a real dog?
Foz: If playing with this fabulous yarn makes me less of a dog, then me-ow!

Me: Don't look now, but that grasshopper that scared the bejeebers out of you is clinging to your neckwear!
Foz: Oh, I know it's there. Now could you open the door so I can bring him back outside.
Me: Not buying it Foz!
(One point for me)

Me: The kids made it sound like you took off really fast with the piece of bread they dropped, but now I see that a trip for the camera enabled you to eat the whole plain sight!
Foz: Your point?
(One point for Foz)

Me: Wow! Isn't it sweet how the girl child wanted to get you a costume so badly? You must be really fired up for Halloween, no? Is the wait driving you Batty?
Foz: I hate you!
(Costume too small=point for Fozzie...Photos taken=point for me)

Me: Nice look, badass!
Foz: And you look any better today?
Me: Touche'!

Me: Foz, I can't seem to find any of those shots from when you play dead. You know, when you show no modesty and flop flat out on your back for the whole world to see?
Foz: Stop looking! And let's agree that such photos of neither of us should ever be posted.
Me: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that one is all on you.