Friday, February 5, 2016

WTFTF?

Why The Face The Foz?!?!
Well, that's easy. Remember this?
 And how it turned into this?
And do you remember how I told you this was not going to be a thing, Foz?
I am pretty sure that when you bother to have someone help you with a graphic of sorts, it is admitting that this is a thing!
I see your point.
I do not appreciate the way you have been slacking off here and there (and everywhere). How can you pretend to forget about me when I am sitting right here?
I think it is best that I not answer that. How about if we just see what photos you haven't commented on yet? Say "CHEESE" if you agree...
Great, I'll take that as a "yes"! Oh, are you aware that you have something in your eye?
Do I? I thought I was just losing my vision. Let me out a coat on and we can head to the groomer.
What are you looking at? You wear a coat your way and I wear it mine.

That's right, just drive me and all of my majesty home now. Pretty sure whoever is wearing a neckerchief is in charge, and that is obviously me!
(Totally should have put a bandana on when we got home.) That's funny, I don't recall asking for the "Justin Bieber".
Um, that's not funny at all, so put a sock in it! 
Oh, sorry. The girl-child must have thought you said to put a sock on it.
We're done here.
Welcome back Foz!

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Back to the creepy random

If you were a fan of my trail mix, I think you might really enjoy the fruit bowl!

We went to see a play this past Saturday. I admit to being slightly dismayed by the thought that my son was going downhill skiing for the first time during the performance. Oh, how I hoped I didn't get an injury phone call! The play was entertaining and distracting enough for me to turn off that small part of my brain. The play ended at 5:35, then...
That first message needed to say "I AM OKAY" because I could not get to the end of that sentence fast enough and without nearly barfing! I mean I knew he was conscious, and I did realize that he probably was not going to go for a lesson with broken limbs, but still, you get it, right?

Ah, motherhood! The beauty of a woman with child...
 …so, uh, um…"artfully" depicted in this work outside our OB/GYN's office. Yikes!

And now the moment we did not even know we were waiting for…because seriously, who can believe there are more?
A banana peel bunting? For two poseable creepy monkeys that are fine collectibles and not at all toys? Frankie and Fiona, you have got it made! Wake up, Frankie! Are your eyelids poseable?

Always hard to follow the creepy monkeys, so I guess this is the end of this post. We have reached the bottom line...
Um, this billboard is just trying too hard! Plus, it is next to a highway, so the first time I passed was a very distorted "wait, what the?" The "behind" with the ape behind, plus the "bottom"…creepiness all around! I think "Get rid of that pain in your ass" might've been a more subtle and acceptable approach.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Lyrical poet and oh, did I know it

Well, yesterday brought the news that I did not get the job I was in the final running for. No, don't say anything. Instead, let's look at another career path not taken...it will be more fun!

It was February of 1990. Wait, I am going to need a minute for that to sink in now that I see it in type. Twenty-six years? Okay, regrouping...I was a junior in college, (so even more intelligent and ready to conquer the world than I was in my city girl post) very busy being a psychology major and owning way too many cardigan sweaters. I was also deep in the throes of working on my poetry anthology. My twenty-year-old self would be shocked to know that the only place those works ever got published was on this blog. And even more stunned that it was done with a certain degree of snark here and here

There I was, feeling the feels, crying the tears and writing the words. I was hanging around with a drummer at that time, fascinated by the notion of making music. I was pretty sure I could work my way up to singer, maybe starting out with a tambourine or triangle? There was a bit of a setback when said drummer asked me if I was tone deaf one day as I was belting out some of my finest notes along with the Indigo Girls. I remember being concerned that he might have a hearing problem because no way could my angelic voice be the issue. Despite my doubts, I considered a Plan B...what if I wrote the lyrics? 

Deciding that my previous doomed relationship material was too raw for radio, I allowed myself a daydream - just a harmless, and by harmless I mean full of angst and sighing, daydream - and thus, I Go On was written. The drummer boy did not match my enthusiasm when I handed him the piece of paper as he headed to practice with his band. A little while later though he called me to come down to give a listen. They had put my words to music! Over twenty years later, I realize this might have just been a bone to throw at your friend who you accused of being tone deaf, or at the very least a peace offering for whatever hormonal mood swing she was in the midst of. Whatever! I can still hear it!

The band, Rat Salad, got a gig at this horribly horrible venue called the Lost Horizon (come on Syracuse peeps) and my song was on the playlist. Of course I gathered my roommates to go hear my song support the band. I even went out and bought a pair of brand new sexy black underwear to throw on stage. Mind you, I kept them in my pocket before flinging them. I was wearing jeans! Had to be practical...and classy. They played my song, and I sang along - tone deaf and solo - because I knew those words! Sadly the Horizon was apparently no place for talent scouts, as there was plenty of talent there. Get your lighters out folks, here it is...I Go On...

I look at you
Casually glance away
It's not even like
I've got something to say.
Yet I take my watch
Eyes dry from the stare
Maybe we could run away
But I don't know where.
I could make you promises
Though I don't know what for
Maybe I could love you
Like you've never been loved before.

But you don't even know my name
Daydream love of mine
Like hands of time
You gently pass and fade away

I feel the warmth left by your footsteps
As I lightly step behind
I start to blush because of
The thoughts I have in mind
You spin around and I shutter
From that one half-second glance
I've been caught without a plan
By such an unexpected chance
In my thought I have a vision
And it's my own fantasy
Yet I can't help but wonder
If you'll ever notice me

But you don't even know my name
Daydream love of mine
Like hands of time
You gently pass and fade away...
...without you I GO ON the same.

Oh. My. Gosh. Somehow typing the words that were penned in my little flannel covered book all those years ago makes them even more cringe-worthy and hilarious to me. The rhymes? Oh my soul. I can't even! I was thinking this was my only foray into the land of lyrics, but I see right beneath this masterpiece is something titled Love Song. Let's save that for another time, shall we?

According to Blogger, I have lost almost twenty followers in the past week. As you can see, I just made a huge effort to keep everyone...hahahahaha! Seriously, thanks for being here. I hope you are chuckling with me.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Discounted random

See that button right there on the left? The a-z is coming again this April! I found my "runner up theme" index card from last year with half of the letters filled in, so I have no excuses...other than possibly not being able to fill in the other half!

The Lego organizing project attracted some more participants!
They decided to sort all of the direction booklets, which then led to wanting to build long lost and loved sets. This would have been a nice pairing with my color sorting attempt if we had been able to actually find the pieces in the new system. The effort started to feel fairly futile when all of the hard work to make sense of the situation did not yield the desired results. It was even more maddening that we could find every single last one of the smallest bricks made, but not the three inch square large piece. We are taking a breather from this project now. I am sure they plan to put away the stacks of directions they made...in due time.

In a slightly related story, I have found a new trail mix that I quite enjoy...
...I made it myself, and regardless of what path you are on, I highly recommend it!

Sure, I also dabble in the every day, plain old snack mix (oddly, when I do not feel as nutty). I was pretty excited to find this awesome sale on one of my favorite ingredients...
...the sale is good thru late next week if any of you want to save big as well.

Be careful when you head out though, as far as where you park!
Hmmm...that is some very reserved parking.

Monday, January 25, 2016

No bluebird on my shoulder

This story is not timely, nor relevant, in any way. I just kind of feel like writing a little something, and since I know the beginning, middle and end of this one, it seemed like a decent place to start. Oh, it also makes me laugh, at myself no less. I realize this introduction is not exactly making you grab a snack and a comfy seat, wild with anticipation, but let's get to it nonetheless...

It was the summer of 1989 and I was fast approaching my twenties. I had just wrapped up my sophomore year of college, so I was pretty much ready to take over at least some small section of the world. The plan was for me to work at my father's office in Manhattan for six weeks. Despite the fact that I was most certainly bursting with knowledge, I am sure someone owed him a favor. 

I had a great deal of experience riding the trains and subways of New York City, always with my father by my side, in arm's reach. The first few days of my mini career he was right there as always, but was offering words of wisdom to prepare me for my solo expedition. Phrases like "You do NOT want to end up on THAT train" and "Don't walk on that side of this street" were dutifully noted. Truth be told, one of my main concerns at the time was keeping track of my commuter train ticket for the month. I could do this.

The time came for me to set out on my own, braving the mile walk to the train station, Metro-North, Grand Central Station and the subway. My purse carried only my train ticket, no more than ten dollars and appropriate shoes for the office. I may have been a rookie, but knew to put some decent sneakers on my feet for both form and function. 

The sun was shining on Fulton Street, as I rose from the depths of the underground, after successfully navigating my path in. With just a couple of blocks to walk, I mentally patted myself on the back as I approached the curb. That is when I heard his voice. I turned and saw an Asian businessman saying words in my general direction and pointing at me. I was wearing my favorite gold earrings and being unable to understand what he was saying, assumed he found them beautiful and wished for me to surrender them. Yes, at 8:30 in the morning, surrounded by a throng of commuters, my best guess was that a well-dressed man was attempting to rob me of my earrings.

I did not want to get involved in much of a conversation with him because that did not seem like the best way to handle a burglar, plus the whole language barrier thing. Nobody else showed any signs of concern for me...jerks. The man's smile obviously had them all fooled. "Woman show" is the closest I could come to understanding his heavy accent. I was not providing a show, nor was I handing over my earrings! Why was the light taking so long to turn? 

Finally, his determined pointing made me glance down at my shoulder...at the worm-like caterpillar thing that must have fallen out of a tree on my walk to the train station, and hitched a ride in with me..."worm on shoulder". Fantastic. I do not know what Emily Post would have said was proper etiquette in such a situation, but am pretty sure forcefully flicking the caterpillar causing it to fling onto the gentleman's pant leg was not the winning answer. The light finally turned green, and I carried on with my brave ridiculous* self.

*I remember feeling slightly defensive when my step-mother questioned my logic, believing that a hold up was certainly a plausible scenario...oblivious then to how ridiculous I was.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Bark, bark, bark!

Woof! Bow-wow! Arf! I am trying to alert everyone, in case you did not understand that. There is something going on that I most certainly, absolutely, positively did NOT authorize!
 
I know it may look like I am trying to help, but am actually trying to figure out how and where to hide his clothes. He can't go back to school if he doesn't have anything to wear, right?

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Just a flake of random

My daughter and her friend told me that these "clowns" in our spare bedroom were creepy.
Poor Ann and Andy! They may be raggedy, but rarely mistaken for clowns!

Looking for a serving suggestion for angel hair pasta?
Apparently winding it up into mini volcanoes is a plan? Mmm...appetizing!

We have a hanging/inverted snowdrift of sorts that collects near the front porch every winter. (It is way better than the barn swallows.) Yesterday's blizzard started this collection...
We grew more fascinated as the day went on.
Seriously!
Today I had to get a shot of the remaining angle.
How much longer could it possibly hang there? Oops...
And now I must ponder how that part stayed there.

I found a way to get my daughter to eat pancakes...
...and also found a way to "appropriately" satisfy a morning chocolate chip cookie craving!

It's about that time again when I try to restore order to our little section of the universe. I am pretty sure this part of the galaxy has more potential to drive me insane. 
I blame two days of being pretty much snowed in for making this seem like a good idea. I am going to find all of the pieces for the Orient Expedition hot air balloon set from 2003. Stay tuned!

Oh, that reminds me, the roller coaster engineers did manage to make a closed loop. We watched, in awe, and now the pieces are all back in the bin where they will patiently wait to see the light of day once again...hopefully in someone else's home!