Tuesday, October 16, 2018

A spot for the random

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!!!!

Product placement is key! How many times have you been tugging at a wedgie while standing in the rain thinking "Ugh, if only I could find something to fix one of these problems without forgetting the other!!!"
This store has got you boo! Hipsters and the elite side by side, as undies and umbrellas have always been meant to be. Just like peanut butter and jelly, or ice cream and sprinkles...
 ...or ice cream and night crawlers and red worms!? And the bathroom I just noticed! This is not your typical kitchen work triangle. And yes, I might know whose ice cream she is scooping-don't judge me.

Meanwhile, I have chosen appropriate spots to plant tomatoes, even fed them the appropriate soil. I achieved minimal results...ok, maybe I let them get too thirsty. My mother is on her second or third year of mystery tomatoes.
All of those plants there under the tree are cherry tomatoes that have never been planted. She did stake them, but provided little additional tending, other than harvesting. 

Oh, one other thing about locations...if the glimpses into my life here just aren't enough, I am on instagram (ajcasarsa) where research into the finest half moon cookies is just one of the things being highlighted! Maybe I'll see you there!

Well that is about as fascinating as I can get for now! Peace out honeybees!

Monday, October 8, 2018

Green with anticipation

My cousin was eager to know more about our heritage, specifically my grandmother's, so she ordered one of those newfangled kits and had it sent to her mother. This plan was flawed from the start. I admit that I did not understand the holdup at first. Why was my aunt taking so long to get this project underway? Folks were getting restless and we didn't even know which nationality to blame it on! Finally my [insert ethnicity here] impatience stepped in and offered to take care of the situation. My aunt gladly handed over the box, and despite being momentarily dazzled by the pretty colors, I immediately saw the problem.
"Saliva collection kit"? That read far more daunting than "cheek swab" or "little bit of spit" would have. Ew. I hadn't even seen the size of the vial yet, but in the name of science and research I tried to motivate myself. After all, we only knew what we had been told our entire lives, but mere wishes and repetition do not necessarily make something true.
And here is where my own personal filming of the movie Groundhog Day began. I never did get that beautiful Andie MacDowell hair, but luckily we only shot for three days with a very low budget. Day one brought some dismay at the notion of spitting, mixed with interest in results. I also learned that her salivary glands may not be overly active at this stage in the game. Luckily, if I planned my requests far enough apart, it wasn't as if I had asked so many times. We were nowhere near the target line by the time I left after several attempted deposits. I called the company to see if I could continue collecting, and was told I would have to start over using the stabilizing solution ahead of time. I was also given super helpful pointers like massaging the side of her cheek, and letting her carry the vial around for a few hours. Considering she would have forgotten within ten minutes what the vial was for, I wondered if my own saliva wasn't the best plan. I tried to think of any possible hiccups from the first trial I should try to avoid on Day 2, other than not going.

Day 2-we might be from Canada. She was still fascinated by the notion of this newfound test she had never heard of. I was still trying to figure out how to help her distinguish blowing raspberries into a vial from actually spitting. I headed home once again feeling both deflated and accomplished at the same time. Having put the stabilizer in, I had no visual for the target amount anymore and just forced myself to accept the fact that I was shutting this project down regardless after one more attempt.

Day 3- "Hi Gram, there is this new thing where they can do tests to see what country your ancestors came from"..."I think I've heard of it"--interesting. I had no idea the intrusion on various one minute clips of her morning this was causing.
I did quickly understand though where some of my impatience may have come from, including the recent addition of France.

While I do not consider myself to be a special snowflake, the idea of being a bit of a unique shamrock had some appeal. My mother and I went for some possibly premature celebration.
Totally buying this shirt next year if the results warrant.
Can you see my mom, even with that camo kilt? I make no promises that this will be her purchase.
I realize that just wearing a green shirt may not be enough depending on percentages.
I did introduce myself to my first Guinness! When in Rome Dublin.
The kit was registered and received, and now we wait...and hope that a message saying "insufficient saliva" is not received! Stay tuned...

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Revisiting the Random

Welcome to October! It has been quite a hiatus from the random. I had moments where it seemed I had, what seemed to be, much grander topics to discuss. The trouble with all of that fancifulness was that it would have required more thought than I was willing to spare at those times. At other times, I wondered if my random thoughts were just too silly. Had I not met myself? There always has to be something to give me a much needed kick in the ass, so here is what reminded me who I  am...
...as if the poop emoji was not awesome enough, it has now been given fanciful unicorn attributes. The colors still baffle me, butt but watch out for that horn! Very often, once one nonsensical photo takes up residence on my phone, other commonplace items take on new life. This sign here, the circled part...
...I know what it says, but my brain initially tried to process "CASUAL MALE HANDLERS". Mind you, I still cannot comprehend what a fancy mail handler might be aside from wearing long white gloves. Despite the fact that the coupon cutting around here was so far behind that some of the circulars had basically expired, the fodder they provided did not disappoint. Luckily things didn't get too far out of control thanks to Sheriff Plucky Duck here...
...he has no soul-look at him! I wonder if the target audience is duck lovers or wild west aficionados, neither of whose collection I want to see. Despite the game of Cowboys and Indians not being politically correct these days, look who was on a nearby page...
...this dachshund does not look amused by the name he has been been given, nor the fact that his headdress is too long. This is a Hamilton Exclusive, as perhaps other companies were busy with sensitivity training. I am sure both figures are of high quality, butt but can they top this craftsmanship...
...does that sentence even make sense? Have I been gone too long? I do appreciate your patronage though! Speaking of...
  ...this was the five star review I saw when I was looking for a bakery nearby recently (never you mind why). I laughed and laughed while eating the free piece of rugelach said baker heated up for me. I did not patronize him--not one bit!