Monday, August 20, 2018

This Little Light of Mine

I have been wanting to write a blog post since whenever it was that I wrote my last one. My time was being spent elsewhere, but the greater issue was that my mind was otherwise occupied as well. Many of us were making an attempt to say goodbye to a dear friend who had run out of treatment options in an incredibly fierce battle. I did finally pull together some words to say at his services yesterday, and thought I would share them here to explain not only what we have lost, but to celebrate who we had the joy of knowing.

Let me start by saying that were it not for Jeffrey, my hair would be limp and three inches longer. Also, one can only imagine what frock style ensemble I would have pulled together to stand here in. I am still not positive about the dress, but he gave it his seal of approval for another event last month. I chickened out at the last minute then, but figured I would go for it today. I admit that the temptation to wear my Hello Kitty pajama pants was great, but I resisted.

I tell the following story because, while it is personal, I believe it will resonate with many of you in this room. A couple of weeks ago, the sky was gray and lightly spitting on me as I got in my car at home to head to Jeffrey's house. The mere ten mile drive brought me to bluer skies and sunshine. So typical. I told Jeffrey of my journey and that it summed up our friendship - leaving my Addams Family style rain cloud to go stand in his light.

Jeffrey - a bright shining light, casting rays so strong that they illuminated parts of us that were possibly in shadows or simply too hard to see - empathy, compassion, strength and hope. All the while he stayed present with dignity, grace and of course, laughter.

He brought out the best in us with his kindness and simply for loving us for who we are.

And when Jeffrey did pick on me, with that incredible wit, I would immediately start trying to defend myself. Then one look at those insanely long fluttering eyelashes and that smile, and I was quickly laughing with him, realizing he was right...and it was funny.

So I imagine Jeffrey's first words to Saint Peter were "Really?! That's what you're wearing?!"

Let's all keep his light shining my friends.

Jeff and I waiting for his needle biopsy this past February-after a discussion
on how nice that blue gown color looked on him

As for the title of this post? It is one of my favorite Raffi songs from when both my own children as well as my siblings were little. It brings me comfort and encouragement. Not exactly Jeffrey's style, as I am unaware of there being a Michael Buble version.


  1. Beautiful, my friend. And you were both so lucky to have had each other.

  2. Love and hugs, sweetie. He sounds like the kind of soul everyone would have been richer for knowing! <3 <3 <3

  3. I have tears in my eyes - your words struck a chord. How nice to have such a splendid long friendship. Obviously you are richer for it, and no doubt he was too. My sympathies on your loss. Sounded like a very cool guy to know and cherish. Take care.

  4. Your words gave me so much comfort because they did speak to me. I’m glad I have a way to read them again when I need to feel his light...

  5. Your light of love shines through your writing, my friend. I am so sorry for your loss.

  6. Perfect. How wonderful that you had each other! (Totally realizing that Mare said it first.)

  7. That is perfect. I am sure Jeffrey would have loved it. Sending you so much love, my dear friend.

  8. Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your weblog posts.


  9. I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend. A dear friend of mine passed suddenly in June and from what you wrote, he could've been Jeffrey's brother. Same knack for fashion...he was a walking designer label in school. It's a shame our friends were taken too soon.