Friday, May 10, 2013

I have this friend...

I have this friend who I talk to every single business day. I suppose you could say that the majority of what we discuss may seem unimportant, but some days that seems to be what makes the chatter so vital. I will let Mary tell you where she was today (via her facebook status from last night):
My bag is packed, my house is clean, groceries are stocked. You've made me happy, you've made me sad, and now I'm done with you. My uterus and all her crazy fibroid friends are getting evicted tomorrow.
For some crazy reason, having her surgery written on my calendar kept making me think I was busy today, so I made no plans. She knows this is me in a fairly bad place, but she was not available to guide me out, and so I spent a good portion of the day feeling untethered. I did have plenty of time in between shuffling papers on the kitchen counter and facebook messaging with Misty (thanks for keeping me sane with the emoticon tutorial) to reflect on some fine friendship moments to keep me smiling until that "drinking my ice water and feeling snoozy" message came through.

Not sure if anyone has been reading here long enough to remember when Mary first burst onto the blog with her knee scooter back in March of 2010? I have all of these other tales to tell, but am pretty sure that they are the "you had to be there" sort of things. Regardless, this is one of my favorites...

About five years ago Mary was taking a double batch of Chex mix out of the oven when the pan flipped sideways so that the top oven door was the only thing holding all of the cereal in the hot pan. We just sort of looked at each other as we realized there was no way to rescue the entire contents. It was kind of surprising just how much landed in the oven and on the floor. We debated for a bit about when the last time the floor had been swept and then did what any two rational adults would do; we sat down and started eating...

Happy healing dear friend! I promise I will do my best to actually sit still in your house while you recover, except for when I am protecting you from any dust bunnies...even if you are still telling me in September that you can't vacuum yet. Oh, and I will bring snacks!

Please share and celebrate a fun friend memory!


  1. I have some friend stories, but none of them involve eating off the floor.

  2. With all the mess that Spawn makes, even cockroaches wouldn't eat off my floor!
    Wishing Mary a very speedy recovery. :)

  3. That is such a great story! I hope your friend has a speedy recovery. I've had a wonderful group of women rally around me the past 2 years as the caregiver duties mount. I'd be lost without them.

  4. My very best wishes to Mary. I hope her operation went well and that she recovers quickly. :-)

  5. Get pampered, Mary! Chex mix off the floor, huh? LOL Our doggie vacuum would have had that mess cleaned up before you could even bend down to retrieve the first square!

    I have a sweet friend who cracks me up. But more about her later. We are having problems with the neighbors. Crazy town lives next door to us. Anyway, they have a sweet lab pup who runs away from home and makes a beeline for our back deck. The neighbors don't have a fence on their backyard, just an electric fence. The pup bears the shock to escape crazy town. The husband came home from a week-long business trip and started banging on our front door wanting to know why his dog was locked on our deck. :/ We took him through the house and onto the deck where he could see that only one gate was closed, and the other one was wide open as it always is! Then he accused us of making his dog disobedient, and fat. We never feed the dog, only occasionally give her treats for small dogs and water when she's thirsty. Methinks the trophy wife neglects the pup when manic hubbie is traveling. The dog comes over here for affection....she's starved for it! Trophy wife won't let the cute little lab pup in her might put a strain on her face that can out-do botox or something. Whatever....

    So manic hubbie returned home with pup. Five minutes later she was back on our deck. My hubbie went next door saying that she's back at our house, and Manic hubbie started yelling saying that she was there with them, happily in crazy town. :/


    So the dog is here all the time...and I guess it's all our my sweet friend Ainslie said that she was going to buy the dog filet mignon and feed her at our house so that Manic Hubbie will have to fight her to get her home!

    Oh, and Manic Hubbie said that he was sick of how I spread rumors about himself, trophy wife, and their combined seven kids...the youngest of said kids dingdong ditched our house the first three months they moved in every goshdarn night!!! I can't help it that his wife is a ho and screwed her tennis coach which broke up marriage #1. Her first ex eventually married a country music star and they seem happy. Their crazy was in the tabloids, and here's an idea....people in this neighborhood can read! And Manic Husband used to be married to a friend, and the lived on the other side of the neighborhood.

    So Ainslie will be cooking for the crazytown pup and feeding her. Very. Well..... She has made me laugh when I've been dealing with the *crazy*....

    That's my story.

  6. We have always had a 'five second rule' in these parts, at least at home. Out and about is another story.

    I hope that your friend returns to you hale and hearty!

  7. Awwwwww, that was so touching to read! Wow, what a tight and wonderful friendship you have. More than friendship... sisterfriendship. Hope she's up and running again soon!

  8. Love it! And I don't see anything wrong with eating Chex mix off the floor. And I have a dog . . . and hardly ever vacuum or sweep. In related news, I might be disgusting. ;)

    I was happy to distract you, and I am very glad Mary pulled through so well from surgery.

  9. That is a good friend indeed. And I would've knocked both your asses outta my way to eat those. Extra good thoughts & prayers being sent to your friend!