Randomosity*

*Really and truly running out of names for these Tuesday things

Tomorrow I will have been married to this guy for twenty years...

…yet somehow when he does things like walk in the mall with sunglasses on, I think  to myself "Who the hell are you and what are you thinking?"

The Elf on the shelf is making his way back, right along side all of the other Christmas flair that has arrived far too early. Now scores of children can rejoice and smile because they too can now feel the joy of the creepy elf. Yes, the wait is over, here he is...

…you're welcome Judaism.

Just a little something I took a picture of to text to my son...

…maybe that is not better than a sad face emoticon that says "I miss you"?

Speaking of things that were missing, I m not sure how many times I looked in this drawer last week before going out to buy a new seam ripper. (I have convinced myself that I am a crafting goddess these days, but that is a tale for another post.) I opened the drawer to look for something else yesterday, and the first thing I saw...

 …right there with the blue end, someone decided to quit hiding my stuff to make me go crazy and put back the seam ripper. I am certain that is what must have happened!

And speaking of things that cannot be explained...

…are you looking for an explanation? Did I not just say there wasn't one? I guess there is a theory at least. That round thing is my grandmother's pill dispenser, and it has an alarm that sounds when she is supposed to get her pills out of the magic delivery door. Sometimes the alarm is a bit, well, alarming, and she may forget how to make it stop. I didn't think unplugging the clock next to it, flipping it over and offering it a jar of teabags would help, but what do I know? (This falls under the "laugh so we don't cry" category, as opposed to the "I am a terrible granddaughter" category.)

Tricked

Just when you thought the costume parade was over..what's that now? You figured there would be more? Yet you did nothing to warn me? Well fine, see if I rush to your rescue, like ever.

No more number one super guy Hong Kong Phooey, we are over it Underdog, never mind where you are Scooby…Super Foz is in the house, well, the yard I guess.

I think "Majestic" is the word you are looking for. Wait, why is she here? Aside from trying to steal my spotlight.

Oh Foz, I was just wondering if you mentioned how that cape was so heavy and cumbersome that you were rendered paralyzed out in the yard. The offer of a treat couldn't even lure you to move a foot or two.
Please leave.
But Foz, our outfits coordinated so nicely! You apparently are not the sidekick I was looking for.
Maybe YOU are not the sidekick I was looking for.

Scrolling through the random

Yes, it is time to scroll through my phone and camera to see what I found important enough to have photographic evidence of. Hmm, seems like I meant to use this last week in honor of Halloween, but I had already accounted for creepy in that post.

What is it? And possibly more important, why? Gee, I wonder if they are on clearance now, as I could purchase a tiny army of them.

My daughter was sitting next to me on the couch giggling over her chemistry homework, which seemed odd. Apparently it was question c that got her...

Suffice to say, I had no appropriate suggestions for an answer.

Perhaps for $5.50 I should have gotten some!

I have given this next one a lot of thought. Too much, in fact.

It is like people just don't care how things might taste anymore, but rather what alleged super food they contain. Do not try to tell me that "kale juice" sounds yummy, yet there is kale sitting there all showy above apple in that listing of ingredients. Beet gave apple the beat down too. Those are not names for juices, those are ingredient lists…ingredient lists for salads!

Must be almost time for me to have candy coating, chocolate, peanuts!

The Dark Side

Really, we can't get our design people to come up with something a bit more seasonal? Oh wait, it's Halloween season, isn't it? I guess we can file this one under "Be careful what you wish for…in the event that the humans read your mind…especially if they are not particularly good mind readers". I know, that seems like kind of a long title for anything.

I am sure that my body language gives off an "I am a proud pup" kind of vibe. However, it is because I am, in fact, a pup! I shih-tzu you not that a proud peacock is not at all what I was suggesting.

 Do I look amused?

 Or do I look angry? Like Lord Vader angry?

What? You can't take me seriously because my dark helmet is a poor fit? Well, what if I brought in some back up troops, or troopers?

I have a sneaking suspicion that they were mocking me under those helmets. Unacceptable! I find their lack of help disturbing. 

I was relieved to see those costumes get put back in the bag to be returned. Phew, but why did a new bag come back into the house?

Where the hell is Obi-Wan? He is clearly my only hope!

Go ahead, caption it up! Don't forget to mention the demented princess too though!

What a relief, another Halloween has passed with minimal humiliation. WHAT?!?! Halloween isn't until tomorrow?

Creeping back to the random

So I was a bit stuck in the muck, a dud in the mud if you will, lost in the sauce, a twit in the...okay, I think we all get the point. Wherever I could be found figuratively, blogging literally was not where I was. Autumn arrived and I just wasn't feeling it. My birthday was coming, and something was missing. It could've been the dark chocolate m&m's I put in my peanut m&m jar. (No offense, Green!)

Maybe it was some other force in the universe that was messing with me. I kept hoping for a sign, something to tell me whether or not I should just close up shop on the blog, or an indication that the side of forty-five closer to fifty was not to be feared. I waited. The weekend came and I ate cupcakes and pounded mega peanut m&m's (with more chocolate and bigger peanuts per piece).

I started to feel a little bit inspired. There were some pictures kicking around that I had been taking of random this and that, but none of them quite spoke to me. There were coupons to be cut, as I lounged on the couch Sunday morning. Crap I don't need, brands I don't use....WAIT! What is this? Who is she? Be still my autumn cooled heart! Daisy...oh Darling Daisy, certainly you are the sign I have been waiting for...

…the creepy monkey I have been longing for. I must say that you arrived a little late this year, or maybe I just shirked my scissor-wielding duties? It doesn't matter though because you are here now, and possibly more beautifully creepy than the other RealTouch vinyls who have come before.* "Look closely to admire the soft tufts of hand-applied hair and eyelashes"...oh, I am! In fact, I cannot tear myself away from those eyes, those eyes are staring directly into my soul!

Sure, I tried to redirect myself in order to appropriately Hail Cleo-Cat-Tra...

...but her shiny gold accents held no power. I gave a cursory glance at St. Nicholmouse...

...but it was my daughter who had to steer me back to point out his creepy toothed grin. Still, we both knew it was Daisy who had all of the magic.

Thanks for coming back to visit! Hopefully, this is the jumpstart I needed to get back and go with the flow...

...OH MY GOSH KOTEX! You totally ruined that phrase for me!

*I took a quick peek for some of the past creepy monkey posts, but alas, they were hiding. I fear if I wait any longer, this won't get posted. I think most of you have been hanging around here long enough to remember the likes of the TuTu Cute, Eloise and Bouncing Balika. For anyone else, I will make it up to you eventually.

Pet Peeved

What. The. Hell. 

I realize I get what I pay for, but this lack of posting nonsense is unacceptable. It was bad enough I had to share space with her random what-not. The clutter!

Wait, what's this? More to the point, who is this?

And he brought me a fancy college bandana? I know I look distracted (and handsome), but I have not forgotten that it is clearly time to start looking for a new scribe. 

This isn't the last you'll hear about OH MY GOSH MY BOY IS HOME!!!! Go Tigers!

Living Room

I have to admit that I am sort of impressed that you have actually stuck to your plan to do this thing every week.
I can't believe you doubted me. Seriously, how long have you seen me wait for a piece of whatever you're eating? I do not give up easily-
Or go away quietly.
I'll ignore that, and move on with an update on my collection...

It is coming along nicely, thanks for asking...

I am even branching out from my fall decor...

Hey, where are you?
I love the living room! It's the one place in the house that is free of clutter and nobody else seems to know exists, so I can…wait, what the...

Yes, go on, I am nearly sold on this room.
What are you doing in here?
Um, living?
Foz, it totally defeats the purpose of my alone time if you are in here!
Shhhh...

Well, at least I have my comfortable little chair that…FOZ!

I got my pillow and blanket here first, so just move it along there. Yeah, this stink eye is for you!
Grumble, grumble…perfectly good chair…grumble…why does he look at me like that
Just keep walking, maybe there is a closet or something you can claim.