Random pests and/or peculiarities

Before we get started, anybody looking for some hookahs?

Fine, I googled it and they are water pipes, but that isn't as funny as saying hooker with an accent. 

When I saw a woman around the corner trying to help this turtle find safe passage across the street, I continued on home and brought back a broom. I then offered to hold her dog's leash while she played crossing guard. Something about the words "be careful, he's a snapper" made me realize she was clearly much more qualified for that episode of Wild Kingdom.

In case you have ever pondered how vicious a snapping turtle could possibly be, that thing spun around and grabbed onto the push broom's bristles.

That's right, turtles are bad-ass! But even if you don't have a shell, you can pretend.

"I cannot believe she put me in a post with the words pest and peculiar in the title."

And here we have Fozzie's latest neighborhood nemesis. (Fozzie thinks nemesis means potential best friend.)

My gosh cat, at least make yourself useful out there and stain that crappy looking deck! Maybe eat some of those weeds?

Oh, hello tree swallow! I see you are camped out on my mailbox so that you can peer into the paper box across the street where you and your mate are setting up shop. Those pieces of straw you've been using seem pretty easy for my neighbors to just fling out onto the ground, no offense.

You know, you're kind of pretty and appear to have some respect for personal space and appropriate techniques for approaching or staying away from humans. Um, you haven't seen your cousins, the barn swallows, around yet this year, have you?

"You talking about us? Sounds like you're talking about us."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! They are back, and demand their own post