Monday, December 5, 2011

A yarn about yarn

There are people in our family who make beautiful things with yarn. We have the best hats (some with holes to accommodate pony tails), lovely scarves, dishcloths, super soft washcloths, an absolutely gorgeous afghan, socks, mittens and stuffed critters. This is my blog though, so we will be discussing my own attempts to craft yarntastic things.

First, one needs the right supplies...
It has been over three years, and that purple yarn has yet to turn into a scarf. Clearly, this is not due to a lack of needles. I even have those nifty bamboo knitting needles, plus a variety of crochet hooks. Apparently I am ready to snap into action if a Muppet needs a quick mend with all of that fun furtastic joy that exists in my yarn craft bin. (Yes, I even have a designated spot for this hobby.)

I see here that I started on a scarf quite some time ago. I am not sure who I was planning to saddle with that scratchy yarn in such a subtle color.
Right now it is just the right size to be stitched up as a Barbie sleeping bag. She is never dressed warm enough, so I think that might not be a bad idea.

Have you ever noticed how relaxed people look when they knit? It's like they have not a care in the world other than the knit one, purl two mantra in their heads. They are transported to another place, leaving their cares behind. I knit with one needle jabbed into my leg, my shoulders scrunched up under my ears and my fingers dangerously close to being knotted in the works. I wonder if it is as uncomfortable to look at as it is to experience. This dishcloth has been in the bin for at least two years.
Seriously? It does not need to grow into anything blanket sized. I probably took a couple of days off, to nurse the knitting induced cramps in my body, and then possibly forgot how to make a stitch. Truth be told, even if I could muster up twenty more rows, I have no idea how to get that off of the needle. It seems it would be impractical to try to scrub my pots and pans with that knitting stick still attached.

I finally accepted that knitting was possibly not the best leisure activity for me. The next logical thing was to try my luck at crocheting. My aunt came over yesterday to give me a lesson. Look what I made there, on the left, with her sitting by my side.
What's that on the right you ask? Oh, that's the same exact dishcloth. I made it a couple hours later, after my aunt left, because I wanted to make sure I didn't forget anything. I used a needle one size larger, so the project should've come out a little bigger than the original. Are you seeing it? Do you know what color you want to order? At least I won't feel badly when I scrub a pan with that project?

Damn it! Where's my glue gun and rubber stamps, as I obviously need crafts with fewer steps that involve yarn only for extra flair. Or these...


  1. I love what you are doing. To me, I'd love to knit but the thing is, I've tried and all it did was get me all pissy and mad. Like put-put. I've leaned to accept there are things I can't do (like knitting and put-put) and moved on. Sigh. But I do wish I was able to knit without getting all mad!

  2. Hah! Hilarious post as usual! I love how you laugh at yourself, it is entirely engaging and makes me want to be your friend!
    Knitting is one I have not tried, used to cross-stitch but like you I am better with paper and paint or words on my laptop!

  3. I tried knitting once and whatever I was trying to make (I think it was a scarf) didn't go so well. I think I knitted two or three rows, screwed it up somehow and gave up. I am insanely jealous of people that can knit. If I actually had the patience to knit I would have the COOLEST mitten/hat/scarf sets ever.

  4. Dude I tried to knit when I quit smoking cold turkey a couple of years ago and I almost stabbed myself because I could not get it. I did crocheting for a while like that better :0)

  5. Well, I guess it's time for me to see what fascinating shape I can muster up in crochet dishclothland tonight....or I can read a book...hmmmmmm...I'd like to relax, so no knitting needles will be involved!

  6. You are WAY more crafty than me, dammit! Knitting, crochet, AND cooking? I just can't keep up!

    I learned to crochet a long time ago. I'm thinking about trying Tunisian crochet, but I'm not brave enough yet.

  7. OMG.....I just about fell off my chair when I read how you knit with one needle jammed in your leg. THAT'S HOW I KNIT !! I've never seen anyone else do it that way before. Lol. Yay, it's not just me.

  8. You should open an Etsy shop! I've tried no less than 15 times to learn how to knit and I always just end up pissed off with a huge tangle of yarn.