Sunday, February 21, 2010

I Want Candy!

**Disclaimer: I realize that the real problem to be discussed is me and my relationship with candy--specifically MY other words, candy that exists in our home that I feel I have claim to AND rules regarding community/counter/candy bowl candy.**

First things first, candy is delicious! Just wanted to clear up any misconception if you were thinking I was one of those "I don't really eat candy" types. I am not an equal opportunity enjoyer though and I like to pick...sort of an all day buffet of candy suits my needs. I can't sit down to a full meal of chocolate, but could eat a pound of gummy bears or Sour Patch kids in no time. If I have acquired candy that I find so amazing that I have to parcel it out over time, I like to be able to do so (sno-caps and various dark chocolate covered goodies fall into this category). So what's the problem? Let's call him Mr. Sweet Tooth...

He has no interest in whose candy is whose, and has been known to sit looking completely innocent while some crazed PMS woman is looking for her 3 squares of chocolate she knows she tucked up in a rarely used cupboard (yeah, rarely used, EXCEPT to hide candy...duh?!) I have made requests that if candy looks like I am enjoying it, that nobody eat it (ignored), and have sought out better hiding spots (I think). The last victim of one of his candy prowls was actually our 9 year old daughter's candy, that she had won...a big box of sno-caps! She was portioning out and enjoying over time (obviously I supported that!) He finished them!!!! I felt doubly angry because #1 they were hers and #2 OK, I'd been sneaking a few a day too, and they were GONE! See, the crux of the matter is who FINISHES the treasured candy. I am not above sharing--not at all!! I just don't like things to disappear incase I "need" them.

Well, this all brings us to our household's annual rite of Valentine passage. The conversation hearts. Let's play a little "What's wrong with this picture?"

Got it? Does this look like a festive bowl of candy hearts? Pink and purple would sure make it look (and taste) better. HE ate them!! I called my friend and said "guess what this sound is?" and shook the candy bowl. She bursted out laughing when I told her it was the candy bowl because after 9 years of being close friends, she does not understand or support my candy issues (but thankfully is amused by them). Now in years past, he would've continued eating more colors (you can see he started on the orange) because he likes them all, but NECCO must've changed their formula because most of them tasted icky this year!! Basically he ate the GOOD colors--even the kids were looking for a pink heart (the least offensive flavor). I had him go to the store to get a fresh bag before we had house guests (Really! They might not come back if we are so inhospitable as to have eaten the yummy necco flavors!)

I don't know how many more years it will be before I either get over this, or presort and ration the colors before they go out for family consumption, or relegate him to his own candy bowl (oh, we know THAT won't work).

Another friend (while stifling a laugh) asked me if my siblings stole all of my candy as a kid (nice of her to pretend this was an issue worth analyzing)--I told her I was an only child until I was 12. We decided maybe that was a legitimate contributing factor in that I didn't have to ever worry about anyone taking my candy.

"Well, it's over for another year" you may be thinking, BUT...he does it with jellybeans too!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. 1st- you are awesome, I love your wit and humor
    2nd- Necco hearts stunk this year!!