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What do you think of my new graphic? Pretty snazzy, if I do say so myself. It almost feels like I am starting to get the respect I deserve around here. People are finally realizing that I am a force to be reckoned with, and my literary skills are second to none! Why, in a short time I will most likely secure a seat at the kitchen table. Gosh, I look great in all of these pictures she has on her pho- WHAT THE FRESH HELL!?!?!?

This photo concerns me. You don't think they bought anything, do you? Those are more like cat outfits, right? Oh tinsel-sticks, I have a less than merry feeling about this.

Random sweater weather

Sometimes you just need a little distraction, but do we really need the pressure of exercise right now? Yes, I know, endorphins, stress relief...yadda, yadda, yadda. But...

...yes, please! And just this once can you put the extra salt back on them, Ronald?

I had that little pre-holiday inner monologue today. The one where I tell myself that planning ahead will allow me to relax and not have a holly jolly freak out. Ho ho - whoah...let's ponder this for a second...

Is the idea to wear this fine garment every day leading up to, and including, the big day? Is inviting strangers to pick trinkets out of my fine cotton blend the best way to feel the joy of the season?

That's all I have this week, mainly because I can't find the words for much else...except for this one - hope.

(Sigh.)

Oh, hey...hi there.

Why the long face? Hmm...I have my suspicions. This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with what happened Tuesday? Maybe it isn't really as bad as you think. You did only hear her side of the story, but I know how you humans tend to stick together, with your opposable thumbs and voice capabilities. Did you even know that she moved that chair I like to sit on? That's right. It is at least six feet across the room from where it used to be. I know that doesn't sound far, but my legs are short.

(Sigh.)

Grrrrrrrrrandom

Things just feel a little off. 

You know how much I hate listing things on eBay? There is no good reason for my issue. I do know that I could pretty much clean the entire house while I procrastinate the eBay task. When my to-do list looks particularly unsavory, I just have to add "list items", and that other stuff will get done! Last night I decided I would just cut right to the chase and get the auctions rolling. I took forty pictures, then remembered that the main computer's card reader isn't working. I loaded all of the photos onto my little laptop, that suddenly refused to go to the website. What. The. Heck? I could travel to all of my other favorite places on the world wide web, but not eBay. Yes, I could have downloaded the app and retaken all of the photos, but remember how I loathe this task to begin with?

It's Election Day. We can probably just leave that statement alone with no further discussion. I find the bake sale notion amusing-buy a pie, you'll feel better!

The other day my husband and I were sitting on the family room couch when Foz waltzed in, lifted his leg and started to pee on the bottom edge of the other end of the couch. True story, don't rush to defend him. We knew we had smelled Eau de Foz, but thought it was just a wafting remnant from a time when he had an actual accident. Last night I thought I smelled a faint aroma in the living room when I was fixing Foz's fleece blanket on his chair. (Please note: his comfort was still of concern to me.) I refused to investigate this matter any further at 10:00 p.m. (already annoyed by the eBay shenanigans). I just wandered into the living room to see if daylight made things better...um, no. Daylight enabled me to see that Foz has apparently been peeing around the bottom edge of the ottoman to his chair more than once. The smell  in the air made me curious, the slight discolor made me wonder, the smell of the fabric made me certain, and the fresh wet spot made me furious! Of course Foz being Foz had to saunter in to make sure I was spraying the right areas of upholstery. I admit to holding his nose VERY close so he could see better. What the fresh hell, Foz?

Like I said, just a little off. No big deal really. I could just look at the newspaper and relax...

Nope. I don't want to know what is in his zoomer repertoire, and ponder whether the age range is appropriate.

So apparently my theory holds that when the going gets moderately tough, somebody unleashes the creepy monkeys!!!!!

Good fortune?

Did I hear you say you were selling me to the gypsies?

Do you think THEY will give me candy?

A random portrait in creepiness

Were you thinking that things couldn't get much creepier than the monkeys I have taken pictures of? Well what about the ones taking photos of us?!?!?!?!

Nope.