Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Part 2 - Moment of weakness

So where were we before I got distracted by random things, like a Tuesday or something? Ah yes, there was a nest. Two skimpy pieces of foil in one corner did nothing to hamper a day's effort in the other corner. So. Much. Progress. Ugh. I have no problem taking down mere foundation efforts, but to take their whole nest down? They must have called upon the rest of the neighborhood swallows to get that barn raised in the hours I was away that day. I tried not to appreciate the craftsmanship. Oh, how I tried. Unfortunately, while I was so busy trying to distract myself from the muddy masterpiece, my mind wandered...

Were there some parallels to be drawn between this mother bird staring me down and my own life? Didn't all mothers want a safe place to raise a family? Weren't those moments fleeting before our babies left the nest?

"She's cracking! She's cracking! Her son is going away to college this year and she is losing it!"

Maybe this barn swallow mother wasn't the only one who'd gotten a bad rap for being abrasive at times, in her efforts to protect her offspring. So misunderstood.

"Did she just turn down her husband's offer to take the nest down? Oh, we have got this!"

Anybody concerned about my well-being at this point in time yet? See that nest up on the left? Just for a point of reference, that is our front door frame along the right edge of the picture.
Now you can fully appreciate the proximity of the toxic pooping and swooping to our well worn path. Perhaps you have not embraced my moment of weakness, but honestly I have not either. Maybe I longed for last year when my the mama robin's eggs hatched. Their journey to their clumsy departure was fun to watch. I had seen a nest in that bush above earlier in the spring, but must have missed the main event. Imagine my dismay...
...when I found a second nest, now abandoned due to the new nuisance neighbors I had allowed to move in. Ugh. I am a horrible landlord who neglected to do a comprehensive background check. In a lame attempt to ease my mind, I climbed up on a ladder to see if anything was doing in the swallow nest...
...fine, a couple of sweet spotted eggs and that grassy interior decorating was relatively cool. I decided to check back a day or two later...
...acceptable. More eggs and some extra downy fill. In fact, this nest looked comfy and roomy enough for five more eggs, blue eggs! (No, I did not relocate anything.)

The porch was staying surprisingly clean, but the dive bombing was at an all time high protecting those little speckled eggs. Not only did we have to seek cover from the parental winged units, but they had other comrades in the neighborhood who were available at a moment's notice. Fozzie and I were followed and heckled a distance of over three houses away for having the nerve to walk out our door. Just hatch already!

"Shut up! I am here already!"
And with that, we had to put up with even more of their crap...literally.

Plus, I was having a hard time getting any decent pictures, sooooooo I had to risk life, limb and eyeballs by climbing my ladder, holding my camera up as high as I could, hoping to take a picture of whatever was going on...
...or not going on. Angry birds - Real Porchlives Edition. How about a different day with less poop and more bird?

Stay tuned for what I will try to make the final installment. Wait, I take that back. I might have more videos than I thought. Yep, that's right VIDEOS!


  1. We have birds above our stoop and in our arbor and we pretty much leave them alone. But one time (unbeknownst to us) we had a nest in a bag of peat moss, and DL reached in there with a bucket. He felt bad for a week, having disrupted the eggs. Mama bird never came back.

  2. Out in WA I had a Northern Flicker, which is a large woodpecker, make a hole in the side of my house and make her nest in there. When the babies hatched, it was a cacophony inside the walls. My ex husband was threatening to board up the hole but I forced him to wait till the babies were gone. Didn't matter...we plugged it later that summer and the following spring, they just made another hole.

  3. Good grief, you are so good to put up with the pooping and swooping! I must admit, though, the babies are a little cute. It's such an awful shame those robin eggs were abandoned. :(((

  4. OMG all the birds!
    But see, I would reason with my seven year old that these are our pets.
    Then we wouldn't have to get a dog.

  5. The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock

    Just sayin'

  6. Our barnswallows dive bomb the cat, not us. Us they just chatter at, and fly around. We pull a flower pot and put it directly underneath the nest to catch the poop, and that seems to help with any stinkiness. Of course, we didn't have any swallows anymore, and I am sad. I live vicariously through your experiences, however!