Sunday, August 2, 2015

Part 1 - The beginning is still the beginning

Nearly every year on my blog, there has been mention of my plight with the barn swallows involving various degrees of both lunacy and success. This year things sort of spiraled a bit for us, and I became so concerned about how the tale was unfolding in our lives, and when I would have a complete story to tell, that I lost sight of the fact that the story still needed to start at the beginning. Now months have gone by, and the point at which to start is still pretty much the same, so let's go there, shall we? (If you need more background into my history with barn swallows, there are posts here, here, here and a little over here.)

I may have been slightly off my game this past spring. This could be due in part to the fact that on April twelfth...
...we were still unsure as to whether or not spring was actually going to arrive. As time passed by and the weather warmed up, I convinced myself that the barn swallows had found a better place to build their homestead. There were some tree swallows bothering a few of the neighbors by building simple nests in mailboxes while I just scoffed from the safety of my uninhabited porch. It may be worth mentioning that I had purchased new chairs for the porch and pondered whether the bright colored cushions were keeping my fine feathered nemeses at bay. (That was probably only worth noting if I was trying to give further evidence of my often fuzzy logic.)

"Hey, I like your new furniture!"

"What? She got new furniture?"
"Yeah, couldn't you see the color from like really far away? Like a signal, almost!"

I kept a close watch on things, and repeatedly shouted random indications that I was not interested in whatever these swoopers had to offer. My efforts proved to be as ineffective as one of our remaining deterrents from a previous struggle...
Cliffside living. Yep, that is what these exceptions to the barn swallow rules of nest building were all about. Apparently they were not discouraged by the previous season's building debris. 

 "We're baaaaaaaaack!" 
(and the flash makes us creepier than ever)

I alerted the Lord of the Outdoors and handed him the tin foil. Now sure, I have heard that if you want something done right, you should do it yourself. However, I also thought practice made perfect, so I guess I was expecting artfully crafted tin foil swans strategically displayed as the ultimate warning that we meant business. Why am I such a slow learner?
 Really? Okay, well that would suffice...
 …IF WE DIDN'T HAVE MORE THAN ONE CORNER ON OUR PORCH! Come on! What a rookie mistake, as if this was our first rodeo. Glad someone was amused...
"Shut your squawking face."

This seems like a logical stopping point for today…stay tuned!

Hey, remember when there used to be that Superhero Sunday thing around here? Well, let me tell you, it took superhero powers to force myself to sit my rear end down in a chair and actually work on this post that has been taunting me. Thank you for reading!


  1. Swallows are annoying when they nest. My aunt and uncle had a pool in the 70s with a cabana at one end the swallows used to nest in it. If you wanted to use the deep end of the pool & diving board, you risked being attacked. And what a mess all over the floor.

  2. We have birds who nest on our stoop outside the loft room., which doesn't really interfere with our lives. But DL is getting ready to move his workshop into the garden house, and there are multiple bird families in there, like a bird hi-rise. DL is not amused.

  3. We did everything we could to keep the barn swallows from building at our other house, but guess what? They have followed us to the new one as well!

  4. They would be dead birds in the South. They'd be shot. And if you're a hippy dippy pacifist without any firearms, it's a good bet that your neighbors are armed and loaded. Easy peasy. We are very superstitious here about birds getting into our homes, and a porch is just way too close for comfort. Here it's a superstition that if a bird gets into your home then a close family member is going to die.

    I just couldn't handle that. The flash photo gives me the willies.

    I'd rather have snakes…..