Friday, May 30, 2014

A soon-to-be-named Friday series

When I started blogging in 2010, my family was excited relieved that I finally had a new set of ears and eyes with whom to share my overactive imagination.  For the first couple of years, the kids mocked my number of followers (five) and struggled to distinguish between imaginary blog friends and the actual human beings who shared extended lunches with me at Panera.

I remember being confused about how to grow relationships with people who had provided such incredible and entertaining glimpses into their worlds. Actual email addresses were as valuable to me as celebrity autographs. Finally, a shared appreciation for a good poop joke pushed me to take the giant step of asking a blogger for her actual address. Marianne, of We Band of Mothers fame, was to be the recipient of some juvenile item I couldn't resist purchasing. Don't ask her about it, because she won't remember.  She also might be operating under the assumption that we are related, so let's just run with that, shall we?

I am one of those people who is constantly in the middle of an organizational project.  It is my way of creating order when life feels out of control, (hence the "constantly"). As the school year drew to a close last spring, I sought refuge with Marianne, my Fairy Blogmother, to help find a more exciting use for my nervous energy. She did not disappoint, and I was thrilled when I realized she was not pointing to the girl next to me.  She overlooked my explanations as to why I was a poor choice of co-conspirators, and we got to work.

1. The rules

We would each select one of our favorite products, on a weekly basis, and write a letter to the company.  The letter had to be funny and ask for nothing in return.  We had to truly use and enjoy the product we were writing about.  Yet every response was given a point value.

If the company called or sent a letter = 1 point

If the company sent a coupon = 2 points

If the company sent actual product, voucher for product, or gift card = 5 points 

Let me tell you, we looked forward to checking our mailboxes with the passion of a thousand suburban moms with too much time on their hands.  We were STOKED.

2.  The outcome

Each week, starting next Friday, Marianne and I will post our letters, the results, and our current point totals.  You will be amazed and dazzled by the outright lunacy displayed in scoring $1.00 off coupons.

And more.

SO much more.

So please stay tuned, place your wagers, and find out who is THE ULTIMATE PATRONIZER.


  1. Do we start the trash talking now?

  2. Replies
    1. Well, I went back to bed for an hour and waxed, so I guess now is good....but do you remember what you were going to say? ;)

  3. Replies
    1. But you can see me whenever you want...oh wait, maybe you are jealous of Marianne's distance! You's not Jealy, you's Gina!

  4. Good luck!! I hope you guys rake in the coupons and free vouchers! Are these email letters or snail mail letters?

  5. Looking forward to reading about this outcome. I bet more companies responded than you expected. People just don't write letters anymore. Especially not complimentary ones!!!

  6. I am SO looking forward to reading all about it! And I promise to be a better (or at least more consistent) bloggy friend as the dust starts to finally settle over here. ;)

  7. That's pretty amusing.
    And, if you like a good poop joke, you should read "The Magic Cookies."

  8. Oh my goodness! I CAN.NOT.WAIT!

  9. I relate to your sense of blog-shame. When I relay a story of one of the blogs I read, if my spouse asks if I heard it from friends or coworkers, I have to sheepishly reply, "it's one of the blogs I read." But like the movie "Her" taught us, there's a redefining of relationships and human connection happening.
    This idea you two had is absolutely inspired brilliance. Though, we're going to have to wait a while for the responses, no? Also, shouldn't a phone call get more points? No way does a company call in this day and age. I say 3 points at minimum.

    1. We actually started sending the letters out last fall. You might think a phonecall sounds important and glamorous...but not always. The point system might've been finessed a bit here and there...

  10. Ummm….so….is this, like, a contest? How long to we accumulate points? You'll have to forgive me….I was up 'til 2 AM gluing Shelley's work on her science fair project. I'm brain dead!

  11. Hahaha! Reading the top comments, You two are hilarious. I cannot wait!

  12. Don't have much time, Andrea, but I think you and Marianne are such cool bloggers.

  13. Yippee! I can't wait!! :)

    -the other white meat

  14. Can't wait to see what kind of responses you get! I am always amazed at how excited I get from a coupon.

  15. Let's try this again . . .

    I am excited to finally be able to read some of these letters. Oh, and the trash talking. That should be some good stuff, too! ;)

  16. OMG these companies have NO idea.
    Cannot wait for this.