Random, not magic, beans

Don't panic, or get too excited for that matter, as I am not going to ask you to guess how many jelly beans are in this jar. Therefore, there is also no prize. Well, I mean there sort of is for me because I have all of these jelly beans.

The other night, my husband and I were sitting on the couch, eating from the jar. (We are not savages, we pour, as opposed to reaching in. I tell you this in the event that you stop by and we offer you a snack, so you can confidently accept.) I declared that Jelly Bellys are an interesting candy. I could tell that the look on Ken's face was less sugar rush, for sure, than intrigue about whatever fascinating proclamation was going to come out of his wife's mouth next. I gave him a brief synopsis of my thought process. He responded that it could be a blog post. I am not really sure if that statement was an attempt to keep me from discussing my thesis further with him or if he truly felt a fluff piece on sweets was what this blog needed. Either way, this post is his fault doing.

Typically when you eat candy, it is because it is delicious and you want more of the same. A handful of peanut M&Ms for example...delightful, let me keep eating this handful. Hershey kisses? My Aunt Olga said they tasted better if you put several in your mouth at once. Red licorice? (Twizzler, not Red Vine - I'm not sorry I said it!) Yes, please. More, please. Regular old jellybeans don't have that many colors in the bag, so you can just eat whatever flavor you like best. (There are barely enforced rules against doing this in our house.) An assorted bag of Jelly Bellys though? That is an entirely different matter.

First of all, do you even see two of the same color? Speaking of color, check out that mutant blue on the right! Sure there are some yellow, but the shades rival Glidden paint swatches in number! It is a brain teaser for me to have this treat. I just ate a delicious pink one, but can I find another one just like it, do I even remember what it looked like, was there a slight speckle? Do I live on the edge and hope that dark bean is actually the deep purple grape, or do I cast it aside in case it is black licorice. Ken doesn't like to take his chances with the marbled whitish yellows for fear he will get a buttered popcorn, so he passes them to me. Not my favorite, but they just sort of blow my mind with the flavor versus texture dichotomy.

I like to try to have my last few bites be my faves like pear, bubblegum or cotton candy, but those can be elusive and disguised as lesser offerings. I also like to try to end with cinnamon because it keeps me from getting another handful. (Think orange juice after toothpaste.) The reds are worse than the yellows though! Often I will take a small nibble to ensure that I plan my final selections appropriately for my palate. I was bamboozled by a cherry posing as something more spicy on my last go around. Suffice to say, I might stand just a little bit better luck if I didn't examine my handful with just the glow of nighttime television as lighting.

There is a bit of a "Violet, you're turning Violet" feeling when it comes to some of the flavor punches Jelly Bellys provide. (The above referenced buttered popcrn, for example.) I am in awe of however the mixologists do it! Move over Dippin' Dots as I think the future will really be meal beans containing all of the nourishment I need with hyper realistic flavors. Ideally the meals would consist of maybe five menu items, but with a handful of each. I have zero interest in just one bite of anything.

I had to shake the jar because that blue one just  looked so strange and poorly photoshopped.

I think I see three strawberry jam ones there. Ok, I'm headed off to let Ken know how grateful you are that he encouraged me to share this with you! I am so glad you're here, but now go and treat yourself!