Saturday, April 3, 2010

The price for not paying the price for beauty...

***Due to the "graphic" nature of this post, please do not scroll down if you quease easily, or have a mouthful of coffee!***

OK, now that
that disclaimer is out of the way, we can proceed...

I was looking for some way to make use of myself, after an epic battle with some chocolate cut-out cookie dough (p.s. I won...I think). We are hosting Easter this year, and I am convinced that if I dust today, the bunnies and their friends will just wave themselves across the furniture by sunset, so I am waiting until tomorrow. That affords me some free time today, but I am reluctant to just relax. Instead, I will create silly tasks for myself, or add random items to the menu that I can prepare today. I remembered that there were bathrooms yet to be cleaned, and as I passed the mirror in my bathroom, I noticed a personal grooming challenge that needed to be taken on, pronto...waxing...blah!

The setting was ideal though, as I had the house to myself, eliminating any conversation about what I was doing. I was moving along, gaining confidence, and decided to do a little extra eyebrow work. I was not in my usual rush, so I could actually pay attention. OK, off I went (pretending to know what path eyebrows should take), easy does it...perfect! Just a little bit of wax along the top, so I applied the cloth strip, pressure, and rip, and OH MY GOD!!! WHY IS HALF OF MY EYEBROW ON THE CLOTH?!?!?!?! I was afraid to even look in the mirror after seeing this (entering "graphic" portion of the post, but I see no other way to convey this information)...

So many things running through my mind at once: "It's actually not as bad, as I expected"; "Should I use some wax to restick part of my eyebrow back on?"; "How the hell am I going to do the other one to match?"; "Laugh or cry?"

Well, of course I had to laugh, as crying would've made my eyes red and puffy...we wouldn't want THAT! I cursed my beautician friend for leaving the state for the holiday weekend. I thought of calling her cellphone, but didn't think her visit with relatives needed to be interrupted by my need for a tweezing tutorial. Instead, I called my aunt for moral support, and decided she would be today's expert on what's what for eyebrows in 2010. I suggested she tell me that "anything goes". She suggested I wear my glasses, but when I put them on I thought they suggested an unevenness not even related to the current problem.

I thought about people I know who pay to have their eyebrows done--some of them look a little surprised for my taste. Then I thought of the older women I've seen who pull out ALL of their eyebrows, and draw new ones in slightly lower/higher locations--yikes. Then there are those who pull out their own eyebrows as a nervous habit--and they don't use a mirror at all. Then I just laughed some more at the thought of being forty years old with beautifying skills limited to putting my daughter's hair into ponytails!

I decided this could be a moment for my daughter and I. (Um, a moment to share some glimpse of the misery she could have to look forward to...I don't know!) I asked her if my eyebrows looked any different--nope. So, I told her about unwanted hair growth and the the waxing process. Since she wasn't crying yet, I showed her the evidence of what had happened. My sweet princess smiled and asked which eyebrow. I told her it didn't matter if she couldn't tell, and then she said "Oh...I see which one!" Rats!

I decided I would be more aggravated if my husband were to point my mistake out unexpectedly, so I asked him if anything looked amiss. He kept looking from one side to the other, and began pointing out unrelated issues. "OK, we're done here buddy!"

The stinging and redness have subsided a little. I'd like to say that I've learned my lesson, but there is way too much wax left in that jar for me to pay a "professional" next time. Besides, I've seen burns that said "professionals" have left on people's faces, and I think my brow damage is less obvious.

I think I should go back to baking now--carrot cupcakes here I come...Happy Easter everyone!


  1. LMAO!!!!! Oh I am so sorry for laughing at you. ROFL!! I have done this too. I now leave my brows up to a beautician. I am legally blind in one eye and have ripped my eyebrow off only to NOT be able to see the other sucker to get it to match. :P