You better shop around

"Try to get yourself a bargain girl, don't you be sold on the very first one!" Okay, so before I could even get started, I've distracted myself! I was trying to come up with a title, then I started singing, then I thought you might like singing, and then I remembered that Toni and Daryl were not the original singers. I wonderd if that would bother you to hear their version; however, I simply could not deny my prepubescent love for them and how quikcly it floods back! I looked at a variety of videos, but for the number of hours I spent staring at this album cover, while holding the lyric sheet in my hands, longing for the day I would meet my own Captain, it had to be this. Obviously, then I had to pause for a moment of silence after seeing the muskrat love in their eyes as I was reminded that they split up! Basically, it's been a journey and I haven't even gotten started yet!

So a friend of mine and I were trying to decide what to do with ourselves the other day. There was a risk of melting if we ignored the heat advisory, so we knew we should plan to seek solace in the well conditioned air of somewhere. I am not exactly sure why we were so jammed up about constructing a plan, as we know how fast we can go off the rails and I also know one of my favorite things for us to do together is nothing in particular. I had a return to do at Target, so that is where we unleashed ourselves first. I have walked into Target before, made a return and walked right back out, but those are sad days. 

Maybe I was still feeling the effects of the heat when I strayed too close and lingered too long near a sports bra. She caught me. I heard myself saying I actually needed a sports bra as the gravitational pull led us deeper into a department of the store my daily mental health walk might not give me adequate reason to be in. She suggested a fitting room once my gaze had landed on a particular nylon/spandex blend. I refused, as that was far too much effort for something that would let me down and be ill-fitting anyway. 

Did somebody say "sporty"?

I want to act like the most troubling part of this next one is my belly showing...

...or that I almost had to go find a pair of cheaters to be able to do the hook and eye meant for initial harnessing before getting to the zipper. Oh, that zipper...

...it was no ordinary zipper - very temperamental when not engaged properly to start. So there I was, in the athletic department of Target, not even in good enough shape to effectively wrestle myself out of a bra. 

The best kind of friendships, in my opinion, are the ones where a friend takes some video footage before helping. I mean that sincerely. I was fairly certain I was going to have to do a next level walk of shame to the register and just buy the damn thing. Luckily, with two more hands, who had put their phone away, we were able to scooch that beast on down, but not without it catching on the phone in my back pocket and nearly taking my shorts with it!

I bought the black bra for $30 if you must know, but then we went to Marshall's. I suffered a bit of defeat in the everyday bra selections, not aided at all by the fact that we truly cannot figure out what size I should pretend fits. I found a two pack of bras, similar to the one I had already purchased, for $17. I really would pay more money for a decent fit, but am so used to being let down (pardon the pun) that I always look for the bargain option. My friend talked me into using a dressing room where I was puzzled to find that not only were the two bras hooked to each other, but the one's straps were tethered to the hanger! How on earth was I to Houdini my way into that situation? I had no choice but to break some plastic, and they live in my closet now anyway. Sorry, Bullseye for yet another return, but I'm sure you've still come out way ahead!