Random Oscar...

Oh wait, I don't mean Oscar as in Academy Awards. I saw none of the nominated movies, so I went to bed and read a book. No, I was talking about Oscar as in the grouchy guy on Sesame Street. Yeah, that was pretty much me today. Considering that I did not have to spend my day in a trash can, I should have been able to snap out of it quicker. I was frantically trying to figure out the cause for my discontent (I am a fixer, remember), when I realized that it is February! This is what happens to me in February. I took some small solace in the fact that it took me twenty-six days to sink, but could not completely convince myself that I'd really only have to ride out two more days before the magic cloud lifted. I think I owe much of my sanity to the piles of what-not that I purged from our house and the super swell look of the places I unleashed my organizing frenzy upon.

I started to fret about my Random Tuesday post, concerned that I didn't have any photos to share. Then I turned on the camera and realized what I had, so let's go...

Sometimes I can't decide if I want to talk about s'mores or chocolate chip cookies. Luckily, my daughter has a keen eye for how to make bigger and better messes in our kitchen...

Hmmm...we might need more dough.

 

We're getting there.

Oh, those seem like sensible portions.

Like a s'more jack-in-the-box!

Oh my!

We carved this into at least eight pieces, but I refuse to admit how many of those pieces I ate. It seems almost besides the point to say that I didn't taste a lot of graham cracker flavor, as if that is what mattered here. That was a bit much to show you, but I figured it would make up for a serious lack of cookie talk as of late.

I think this was Fozzie's attempt to camouflage himself, or he figured if he could not see me, then I could not see him...

He had to give up his statuesque pose when his feet got cold. He barely made it back in the house.

Sometimes you gotta dance!

I might have had another random photo or two, but I am going to share the gem of a phone conversation I just had instead. I had finally sat down to watch one television show tonight with the kids, when the phone rang. I told the hubs up front that we had just started a show. He started talking about how he had just rescued an abandoned suitcase from outside the hotel, and I realized I should probably try to show some interest in what he was talking about as to not hurt his feelings. He then proceeded to tell me that he (with his moderate lactose-intolerance) drank some chocolate milk today and paid dearly. He further elaborated on his gas pains (and the apparent safety of those around him), as I realized that absence does not necessarily make the heart grow fonder. I told him I could really not top his day's events and passed the phone to my daughter. You will be happy to know that the kids and I finished watching our show in clean-aired silence.

Really? What more can I possibly say today?

52 Weeks of Happiness - Week 50

Sometimes one really big thing has the power to carry you through a full week of being happy. Other times, it is just a series of simple little items that bring pockets of sunshine. Since we have already discussed martinis, let's move on to something else that sustained me this week...

This salad made me very happy! 

It did not make me quite as happy as the one I ate the night before that had some homemade breaded chicken cutlet on it, but that was gobbled up long before I considered taking a photo. Salads at my house tend to get a little blah in the middle of winter, and more of a necessary evil, than something to truly enjoy. I had been to the store with the fabulous produce prices, so we were loving the berries. I even treated myself to a bottle of dressing that only I would like.

Yummy food makes me happy!

Random-tini

Our city began its week long Winterfest celebration this past weekend. Nothing says "I love the snow" more than a martini walk, right?

The ladies I tagged along with like to start out with one full-sized martini. I like to sample (and remain upright)...mmm...grapefruit!

They used to have a human dog sled race, but after a few years of unseasonably warm weather, and perhaps a general lack of interest, that activity fell by the wayside. There is a chowder cookoff, chicken wing walk, chili cookoff and other means of keeping warm, like bloody marys and cosmos. There is also ice carving...

Hows about another (hic) hikiskus martini (hiccup)?

p.s. I did check, and it is Absolut Hibiskus...with hibiscus flavor, but no hikiskus

James Bond would not be impressed by the Birthday-tini...neither were we. Think barely cool, melted McDonald's shake.

After growing weary of chocolate-tini samples, we were brought back to life with this miniature martini glass sporting chocolate and graham cracker crumbs. I heard Kahlua and Rumchata, but was too distracted by the presentation to hear the rest of the ingredients.

Mom, mini-martinis, classy necklaces and me.

And Snooki was apparently there! (She looked possibly older than me, and I thought I was too old for a Bump-it. Time to get myself ordering!) As the trio walked away, I realized the true hilarity was that guy on the right's hair...so glad he was in the photo, but disappointed that the true tightness/shininess of his curls was not captured.

My favorite conversation overheard while waiting in line at the walk took place in a fancy bar...and by fancy, I mean they served popcorn. The woman behind us was talking about how she could smell the salt from the popcorn. Riiiiight, not the butter, but the salt.
  
In completely unrelated news (gotta keep it random)...Don't you wish everyone came with such a descriptive tag?

Now go give Stacy some attention!

52 Weeks of Happiness - Week 49

A few months ago, I got a surprise in the mail from my friend Tina at NotJustAnotherMotherBlogger. Two pounds of Texas pecans were just some of the awesomeness inside the package. I was making some Nutella rice crispy treats this week and decided those were just the nuts to sprinkle on top.

First things first though, I needed to borrow a nut cracker. I cannot believe I don't own one! A bowl of mixed nuts (in their shells) was a staple at so many of of our family gatherings when I was a kid. It made me happy to be filled with nostalgia.

My daughter decided to help me, as this was a novel task. It made me happy to see her have a sparkle of wonder in her eyes at what we were doing. I may have acted otherwise, but it also made me happy when she sent pieces of shell flying as part of the nut cracking learning curve.

I fondly recalled the challenge of getting a walnut shell cracked perfectly in half, trying to find someone who wanted to eat a freshly shelled brazil nut, the trickiness of getting those almond shell layers off, and wondering why filberts were even in the bowl. I was happy that my daughter was engaged enough in her new job to let me ramble about my childhood memories. 

I was happy to see the intricate design of a perfectly shelled pecan. Oh, and the eating of the pecans? Yes, that made me happy too.

Shelling the pecans by hand made it feel like there was a little extra love going into the treats this Valentine's Day (and perhaps a little extra shell fragment or two), and that made me happy (the love, not the shell fragments).

Random-da-dum-dum

We had some more snow here over the weekend, but I do believe our local meteorologists were left with flaccid penises (peni?) because we did not get anywhere near the walloping that areas who felt the full brunt of Winter Storm Nemo did. I am sorry, but it gets a little old how much hype the local news musters up for possible snowfall. Since our area prides itself on being the reigning snow king of the state, there is no excuse for anyone to be clearing their driveway in this manner. Yes, they were done and this is how the snow bank was left...

Luckily, I had already traveled down that street in the opposite direction, so I knew what was coming up...as I rounded the curve, no less.

Who are the evil geniuses at Ashton-Drake? Now they are trying to distract me from my bad case of creepy monkey love by introducing this gem...

Is he? Is he really the "most adorable trucker ever"? I think Clint Eastwood and Clyde may beg to differ.

You may recall the platoon of cheerleaders that I mentioned are at the girls' varsity basketball home games. Just in case that did not impress you, did you know we have our own gymboni zamboni?

She played it like it was no big deal, but that woman is all that and a bag of chips!

Speaking of chips...how distracted was I this holiday season that I totally missed out on these...

Darn those outdated magazines at the dentist's office...ignorance was bliss! Seriously, did anybody try these (or even think for a second that they wanted to)?

Jeepers creepers! Can you believe these were the keepers?!

I know the five dolls that I posted yesterday, as being fabulous runner up prizes, seemed super swell...until now! I just don't even know what else to say. I probably should have just taken a video of how hard my son and I were laughing as we pulled each doll out of the bin. That bitchy face on Cruella, the dapper soccer boy, bad hair day princess. Oh my.

Well that is about all of the random that is flooding my mind today. I am sure very important and useful information is waiting to take its place.

And the winner is...

...wait, first I have to tell you how we arrived at this moment because, as you may have guessed, I could not make it easy. I agonized over random number generators and choosing paper strips out of a hat. Here was my first effort...

I had the names written on strips of paper, but then decided to randomly put numbers on the backs of those strips. I did the number generator, but couldn't figure out how to show you the result in a pretty format. Skwishee won when I matched the number on the computer to the number on the paper. Skwishee also won when I numbered the comments and matched them to the number generator generated number.

Since I was concerned about all ten of you doubting my methods, I considered just choosing whichever nominee's category made me chuckle the most. It was tough, but I would have picked Skwishee for her work in Most Likely to Have Bizarre Items in the Oven. ("Melted Barbies smell like crap" won my heart.)

Luckily, additional humans entered the building, so I had valid assistance (thanks again, Fozzie). I was looking for a place in the house to stage the drawing that would not look like I was running a tag sale with my current decor, but that might've taken us well into next week, so if you see something you like, name a price. We let my son's friend pull the magical name (Oh you just never know what afterschool fun there is to be had here at our house.) Let's see how that turned out...

Soooooooooo...I think it's safe to say that SKWISHEE is the grand prize winner of a first edition copy of Epic Mom. Congratulations Skwishee! (You can email me your address.)

Now let's take a moment to check out the runner ups in their distinguished categories...

Danelle from Outnumbered for Most Convincing House Cleaning in Under 15 Minutes

Kirby from Kirb Appeal for Best director (of the lives of her adult children, whether they need direction or not)

Lily from Incoherent Ramblings of a Moose for The Most Overused Motherism, in a 1 Hour Time Period

Marianne from We Band of Mothers (and author extraordinaire) for Most Creative Use of Alternate Swear Words

Tina from Not Just Another Mother Blogger for (and this is my designation for her) Most Adventurous (Bigfoot tracking included) Mother

Ricki Jill from Art@Home for Best Rule Enforcer

Angie from Angie Uncovered for Most Effective Punishment Idea for any Given Crime Against Household Rules

Allison from (somewhere mysterious and unknown) for her Singing (of actual words to songs)

Jen from Jen e sais quoi for Best Actress in a Dramatic Role While Feigning Interest and Enthusiasm

Elaine from Kids Galore Plus More for Most Productive Use of Children's College Fund starring her New Washer/Dryer Purchase and California Vacation

The Empress from Good Day Regular People for Best Actress in a Comedy

I found these treasures on my most recent anti-hoarding mission, and they can be yours for the asking my dear runner ups...

Come on, don't be shy!

Thanks to all who stopped by and participated! You really are all winners to me!

uh-oh...

I just sat down to make another attempt to catch up on reading blogs. I have been suspecting that blogger has been toying with me as far as which blogs show up on my reading list, as suddenly a post will show up that I didn't see during my previous session. Well, today blogger is telling me that I am following no blogs, and perhaps should add some! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaack! I think if I log on and off enough times I might be able to win, but we shall see.

In the meantime, I am going to devise a plan to pick a grand prize winner for the epic book, Epic Mom. 

Cross your fingers, and the winner will be announced tomorrow! (Which still leaves you a few hours to get your entry comment posted. Let's see a few new categories, as the ones so far have amused me so!) 

It is no coincidence that I have come up with a few runner up prizes AND been cleaning out our basement. Look out!

***Update: I win, my list is back...of course now I have to go make dinner***

52 Weeks of Happiness - Week 48

At the risk of being unpopular, or getting accused of having an adjustment disorder, I am going to say that this winter weather makes me happy!

I am enjoying the winteryness of it all. A snow day last week, real snow to look at with its pretty flakes, cold enough temperatures to actually wear our winter clothes (Mr. Teenager has even taken to wearing jeans instead of shorts), and even the opportunity to use my new cross-country skis.

Exercise and fresh air make me happy. (Apparently so does looking like a dork.)

We headed outside last Friday evening to frolic for a little while. The girl's extra large helping of snow made me happy (once again).

It took me a few minutes to realize that he was burying her in the snow. I was happy that everyone had new coats, boots and mittens!

She is not to be disturbed, is she?

Winter makes me happy! (for now anyway...)  For those of you nay-sayers, treat it like green eggs and ham...Try it-you might like it! "Try it, try it and you may...Try it and you may, I say!"

Now if we could just get some decent snowman snow...

Random Tuesday...on Tuesday!!!

I am going to keep the weather small talk brief. It is winter. There is snow. I love my down coat. Now let's get right to it, or I will suddenly remember what items are on my to-do list on the kitchen counter and be overcome with guilt, and lose that fine bloggy feeling.

The decal in question is a little hard to see, but I wanted you to appreciate the classiness of the vehicle as well. It says "YOUR the reason YOUR kids are ugly"...

I wanted to hold up a sign that said YOU'RE the reason YOUR kids can't spell. I realize that may not be the most pressing issue with the sentiment, but seriously? Who prints these things?

I was at a friend's house yesterday, and she offered me some of the "healthy rice krispy treats" her mother had dropped off...

That is a crime against Snap, Crackle AND Pop. We laughed so hard trying to find an actual square to sample. I think you can make out a couple of them amongst the debris. Suffice to say they were not yummy. I thought they tasted a little bit Windex-y, but we figured out it was honey. I did not see any evidence of marshmallows...at all.

That is not to say that I am cranking out delights from my own oven. Maybe I should break down the wall that keeps me from ever logging onto to Pinterest. Perhaps then I would have had something slightly more snazzy to offer my family on SuperBowl Sunday...

Meatloaf with mashed potatoes. I don't know why we didn't invite people over for such fanfare!

And in one more kitchen...do you prefer your celery to be more crunchy and less Gumby?

I just heard some things fall over in the laundry room, so that must mean the spin cycle is over. A queen's work is never done!

You are all winners (and a GIVEAWAY)!

I was just watching a little ESPN with my son. I watched very little, and actually determined that unloading the dishwasher would be a more fulfilling experience. I appreciate the effort that it must take to find over twenty-four hours of talking points about the Super Bowl, and the end of the football season in general, that seem like actual news. After listening to some hoopla about how this year's Hall of Fame inductees nearly walked on water, granted across a football field, the topic moved on to the winner of best comeback of the year. Have no fear, the runner up won something as well to indicate just how valuable his performance was. This got me to thinking...(so early on a Sunday). As we all concern ourselves with winning (or not winning) Mother of the Year, if for nothing else than the swag that certainly accompanies the title, there really should be more categories.

Even the Hall of Fame celebrates more than one player a year with a coach thrown in for good measure, (unless it is for baseball where sometimes nobody is deemed good enough). Perhaps that is why my certificate never arrived last year...there were NONE given out...inconceivable! I think the more likely reason for my lackluster mailbox offerings, and award dinner invitations, has more to do with a shortage of divisions. When I extended my vision to the world of entertainment beyond sports, I realized that not only are there more kinds of folks being celebrated, but also more governing bodies doing the bestowing.

Obviously the Mother-of-the-Year for the ten and under category, as voted by children, may not be the same person as the one chosen by her peers. The Frozen Food Association of American probably has different voting criteria than the Culinary Institute of America does. The Association for American Wineries (maybe there is one of those) might have different considerations when casting their votes than the Dairy Council (or even whoever the Rumchata and hard liquor producers align themselves with). Some consideration should probably be given to awarding all mothers of teens and toddlers with those lovely participation ribbons, because, really? 

I guess this leads me to some suggestions for how we can broaden the scope of the elusive Mother-of-the-Year award:

• Best actress in a comedy
• Best actress in a drama (teenage girl or otherwise)
• Most creative use of leftovers
• Most effective punishment idea for any given crime against household rules
• Best Lego minifigure mystery bag feeler (a girl's gotta dream)
• Best use of children's college fund
• Cleanest clothing worn by a mother of toddlers
• Most knowledge of all things construction and truck related
• Most elaborate Polly Pocket and/or Barbie play scenario
• Best singing voice, or at least demonstrated knowledge of the words to the songs
• Most convincing house cleaning in under fifteen minutes

There are so many, many more! Certainly you must have some ideas? Let me know what award you think you should be nominated for, and I shall send it to you...let's face it, it is not just an honor to be nominated...I want you to WIN!!!!!

Of course, there will be one grand prize! (I just have to decide on the category...which very well may be Best Number I Pull Out of a Hat.)

Yes, you could win this super fabulous book by the voices behind We Band of Mothers and Mothers of Brothers. Go ahead on let me know in comments what your category is.

52 Weeks of Happiness - Week 47

I am poking my head out of the doldrums (and preoccupation with monkey dolls) to report on some happy.

My daughter and I went to Toys R Us yesterday in search of more minifigures. She was looking, and feeling, for the actress and the judge.

So proud of, so happy for my young padawan!