Even the Hall of Fame celebrates more than one player a year with a coach thrown in for good measure, (unless it is for baseball where sometimes nobody is deemed good enough). Perhaps that is why my certificate never arrived last year...there were NONE given out...inconceivable! I think the more likely reason for my lackluster mailbox offerings, and award dinner invitations, has more to do with a shortage of divisions. When I extended my vision to the world of entertainment beyond sports, I realized that not only are there more kinds of folks being celebrated, but also more governing bodies doing the bestowing.
Obviously the Mother-of-the-Year for the ten and under category, as voted by children, may not be the same person as the one chosen by her peers. The Frozen Food Association of American probably has different voting criteria than the Culinary Institute of America does. The Association for American Wineries (maybe there is one of those) might have different considerations when casting their votes than the Dairy Council (or even whoever the Rumchata and hard liquor producers align themselves with). Some consideration should probably be given to awarding all mothers of teens and toddlers with those lovely participation ribbons, because, really?
I guess this leads me to some suggestions for how we can broaden the scope of the elusive Mother-of-the-Year award:
- Best actress in a comedy
- Best actress in a drama (teenage girl or otherwise)
- Most creative use of leftovers
- Most effective punishment idea for any given crime against household rules
- Best Lego minifigure mystery bag feeler (a girl's gotta dream)
- Best use of children's college fund
- Cleanest clothing worn by a mother of toddlers
- Most knowledge of all things construction and truck related
- Most elaborate Polly Pocket and/or Barbie play scenario
- Best singing voice, or at least demonstrated knowledge of the words to the songs
- Most convincing house cleaning in under fifteen minutes
Of course, there will be one grand prize! (I just have to decide on the category...which very well may be Best Number I Pull Out of a Hat.)
Yes, you could win this super fabulous book by the voices behind We Band of Mothers and Mothers of Brothers. Go ahead on let me know in comments what your category is.