Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Cabin Fever!

It is in the 90's here today for the second day in a row. The forecast for the rest of the week is not showing any relief. The meteorologists got my hopes up last Friday when they showed it would be 76 degrees this Saturday. I rarely believe them, or even consider their long-term forecasts, but in the face of 90 degree weather I clung to whatever hope there was.

I see the people across the street milling about and getting in their car. I am concerned that they will burst into flames if they don't get their situation moving, but also worry that they will erupt if they do speed up. They didn't even have the car started with the A/C on the "frost" setting while they were pacing the driveway. Wow--my heroes.

I am sitting inside like most Central New Yorkers do every winter when there is a wind-chill advisory in effect. Today there is a heat advisory and an air quality advisory, and I might be the only fool who cares. I will admit right now that my fear of melting FAR exceeds my fear of frostbite. When I did leave the house earlier, there were people actually outside...moving and doing things! We past a house where a woman was pushing a wheelbarrow full of dirt to where her husband was doing yard work. She was clearly there to trick me into thinking it was a 65 degree day, as not one hair was out of place, nor did her clothing appear to be drenched with an appropriate amount of sweat (or any sweat for that matter), and I think she was smiling. Meanwhile, I was flushed from my walk to the car, and the two minute wait for the vents to start sending cool air.

I am starting to feel a little cooped up. The fact that I can't remember how long it's been since I didn't hear the central air churning is causing me some anxiety. It's as if I am afraid that I will use up the system's power. I think I'll raise the thermostat one degree, just so it will stop running. I am gaining some sympathy for those people who claim they have cabin fever in the winter. I'm usually just thinking (to myself...or, ok, out loud sometimes), "THEN GO OUTSIDE!" Now that I am being held hostage in my home by my surface of Mars yard, I finally understand their pain (kind of).

I maintain that it's better to be cold than hot. First of all, sub-zero temperatures do not cause me to fear that I might pass out...Oh my gosh-a guy just rode by on a bicycle!!! Anyway, the deep freeze also kills the outdoor cooties/allergens that also make my head ready to implode. I am not sure why I am trying to convince you that ice beats fire. Maybe I am just venting for all of the times I've listened to the snow complaints (or the misery of anyone who visits our 64 degree house in the winter...bring a sweater--or two).

"Bring on the blizzard and let me grab another layer of cotton or wool!", I say. I am not socially confident enough to follow any kind of "least amount of clothing necessary" rule. I don't want to be sitting around half-naked and STILL sweating, leading me to feel uncomfortable AND unattractive. Eww! I am going to resist the urge to insert several comments here about certain stores, their customers, and their choices of summer clothing (and what percentge of one's body should be covered outside of a swimming pool).

I did consider attempting to mow the lawn. I know, that prospect does not fall in line with my gripe of the day. However, I thought the 2 pounds of water weight that I would lose might be worth the effort. Then I decided that the sunburn I would get if I were to be passed out in the lawn for any extended period of time was certainly not worth the risk.


  1. Well, you would have been completely disgusted with my work and appearance Monday as I installed a new ceiling fan near the bar. Crawling into the "attic" (let's face it its really a big pizza oven) left me 20 lbs. lighter due to an extreme release of sweat. I bought an AC unit from Home Depot on Tuesday but had to drive to Utica to pick it up only to get it home and find out it was broken and already returned once. I bought another unit at KMart but it was way underpowered for our upstairs so we've just opted for the socially offensive option you detailed above. Even Jan has surrendered her self consciousness to the heat demons.

  2. Next heat wave..just come over here...but, "properly" attired, of course!!!