Monday, January 6, 2025

New Year, New Chapter!

So I made that comeback last month, and I had this plan for us to reaquaint ourselves and THEN I would tell you my big news. It was a great plan, until I almost forgot to check back in with the news! Apparently we celebrated holidays and started a new year since my last post. Those things may all be correlated.

I'm not positive who still comes around to visit here, and realize that my news may not be actual news to any of you...LOL! We can talk about it a little bit though and I will try to keep it interesting. After almost four years of fits and starts, of desperately wanting to have something done, but fighting with myself to make it happen...
...I was uploading my book onto a self-publishing website (and nearly vomiting)...
...offical sounding words like "manuscript" and "final" and boxes to check (more feelings of nauseau)...
...and it was done!

The few months leading up to that day in early November when my friend literally sat next to me, working the keybard until the final submit button she made me push myself, were speckled with doubt. I started to wonder if I would ever actually finish. I didn't know how I would know when the project was complete. Then one evening I found some motivation and sat myself down and typed out all of the things I had left to say. After all of my scratched post its had been accounted for, all of the notes had been copied off my phone and all of the thoughts scribbled in my notebook had been woven in, I took a deep breath and knew I was done with my book. There were no more nagging thoughts about including this or that. I just felt something different, like a sort of peace. 
Somewhere along the line I did realize that writing a book meant people might hopefully read the book, which did briefly make me a little anxious. I had a little book signing at a cafe my friend works at. I thought I had myself prepared with what to write in people's books, but then there were some moments where I felt like I was writing too much and other times I was pretty pleased with what I conjured.
So, yeah...that's my news! How do I feel about it all now you may be wondering? It depends on the day. I have not exactly figured out what to do with the part of my mind that spun (and spun out) on this. Maybe you're wondering why I did this to begin with? I thought I had a story that was worth sharing in hopes that someday it might find itself in the hands of a person who would feel seen, less lonely or even catch a glimmer of hope by reading it. What is the book about? (Am I really answering that question last?) It is about my life with my grandmother, from the struggles we had relating to each other when I was a child, to trying to please her as an adult, through her years wth dementia and how our relationship changed along the way.

Thank you for coming to visit, as well as for the support when I've shared stories here about my grandmother. Be nice to yourself today, have a cookie!