It started last night with a general sense of confusion regarding today's letter. I knew what I had picked out for my happy picture, and while it does start with the letter d, I was dissatisfied at the thought of using that word here as well. Then the dog looked at me longingly...uh, no Foz (and you might not be F either, so go back to sleep).
This morning the downward spiral started. Doughnuts? I thought a lot about doughnuts...mmm, doughnuts. I have a delightful daughter and a dandy dad, but then this whole thing would turn into some sort of debacle where I'd have to account for everyone. Drama. Certain people who live here have already looked at the calendar to see which days the first letters of their names fall on (see message to Foz). Daydreaming? (See doughnuts.) I asked the girls if we should write about DD's, and they did not seem interested. Dammit, how was I going to decide? Oh, well there's something...Decisions.
I am not a champion decision maker. It is not the result of making poor ones, but the discomfort of making one at all sometimes. Often people will say "Do what you want". I don't know if it is a mom thing, or a me thing, but I find it nearly impossible to completely separate out what I might like to do, from that which is good for the rest of the herd. I guess I could try explaining the pile of dirty clothes, the dog crossing his legs, and no food on the table as being a direct result of me choosing a day in bed with a book. Sometimes I can't make a decent lunch decision because I am too busy accounting for what dinner will be.
I am not sure if I am delighted with this decision to draft up a ditty about decisions, but it's just about done, and it really is such a thing for me.