Monday, August 13, 2012

Next at bat

This is a recent exchange of texts between the husband and I that had me ready to run home to get the popcorn ready for the epic adventure tale I was surely to be regaled with.

Husband: Had to deal with a (barely) live bat in the office this morning.

Me: Your own office? I was right around the corner. [Meaning I was near his office building...and so ready to lend my expertise.]

Husband: In our common area.
Me: And you were the bravest around?

Husband: Uh, something like that.

Me: I sure hope you get a yea award.

While I sensed that my efforts were to be put to shame for my past experience with an indoor bat , I was still glad that our dynamic duo proved competent. I called for silence on the couch later that evening while we all gathered round as Father began his recap. (Of course I am allowed to interrupt because no detail can remain unknown and no seemingly witty comment can go unspoken.)

Apparently as he was walking from point A to point B at work, he saw something on the ground that was grey and furry. 

"Did you call my grandmother to ask her opinion on all possible options?" 

(Brief pause and that look.)

His first thought was that it was a mouse, until he noticed the pointy ears. The animal's health status did not appear good. He mentioned his finding to a woman in the nearby office. She was not pleased.

"Did she scream?" 

"Not quite, but almost."

My blood was starting to really get pumping, as I knew my mild mannered husband was about to get to the part where he donned his cape and became the office hero. I excitedly asked what he did next.

"I put a piece of paper over the bat and maintenance was called."

"Paper? You covered it?"

"Yes, that was the woman's request."

"Huh?" (starting to feel deflated) "So did you label the paper so people knew not to lift it?"

"No, but somebody else did when it was necessary."


"Yeah, somebody almost stepped on it."

I was not impressed. Further discussion revealed that the injured bat managed to scoot out from under the paper a little bit, prompting someone to put a trash can over it.

"Yes! Why wasn't that done to begin with? So how did they manage actually removing the bat?" (I needed to know if it in any way resembled my own experience, or if I could at least pick up some pointers.)

"Oh, I don't know, it was gone when I got back from my meeting."

"So let me get this straight, your text that you dealt with a bat basically amounted to you putting a piece of paper over it?"

"I guess so."

"I feel tricked! I was led to believe that this was going to be some great story that I could perhaps even blog about. You didn't even take a picture did you?"

At this point my son suggested I just "embellish a bit", but I told him there still wasn't really much to work with. I am just finding comfort in the fact that I clearly do not have to turn over my Section 5 Category: Flying Rodent Badge of Courage Honor Good Enough Effort!

I do need to mention what a good sport my husband was when I called him just now to confirm how he knew it wasn't a mouse. I also reviewed that his role was the paper and calling maintenance, at which point he admitted that he had someone else make that phone call. This gives a whole new batch of opportunities for me to claim to have "dealt" with something!


  1. ha ha ha! This is quite a character study. I love it!! I'm glad you didn't embellish. It's great the way it is!

    I think bats are so cute. I probably would've tried to take it to the vet. ;D

  2. So close. So damn close. It would've been blog perfection. But honestly, this was pretty funny, too.

  3. Just like a man to make the story less exciting than it should be.

  4. Lol, I was expecting a little more than "put a piece of paper over it". Really? A piece of paper? Sorry, I snorted out loud. ;)

  5. That is disappointing after a text like that. I was at least expecting to read about people on top of desks screaming. Possibly some fainting and hyperventilating. Maybe it was before everyone's morning coffee?

  6. Men just don't "deal" with these sorts of things like women do. And they certainly don't know how to make up a good story about it! I hope that you set your husband straight about how he should handle this situation should it come up again...

  7. I love that his definition of "dealing with it" was basically going, "hey guys, there's a bat over there. Under the paper I just threw on it. Can somebody have somebody else take care of it? Cool, thanks."

    This is not the first report I have heard recently about bats in buildings. I wonder if it's the heat. They are coming inside where it's cool and darkish.

    I had a mouse in my office once. I will admit that I squeeled a little. And told my secretary to call maintenance. Hmmm, I'm feeling a strong comraderie with your husband right about now for some reason. ;)

  8. Even my Dad's bat story is a little more adrenaline pumping. Good Post! Sorry you were let down!

  9. What is it with you guys and bats? At least now you have some better ideas for "dealing" with the next bat you encounter.