Thursday, June 1, 2017

Good Things come in Threes (or is that bad things?)

This is the final installment of the 2010 Barn Swallow Chronicles. Here we will discover the beginning of the efforts to truly foil the birds' plans.

For the Birds...Part 3: My Other Husband
I admit, I was feeling a little full of myself for the fabulous anti-barn swallow measures I had taken. I decided to proceed to the front door that following morning to admire my handiwork. THAT is when I saw the shoddy workmanship of the person who replaced ONE piece of cardboard. The cardboard pretty much lined the ledge...providing a nice smooth nesting surface!
I spent a moment trying to find a logical explanation for what I was seeing. Maybe the cardboard was put up at an angle, but the birds used all of their might to stomp it back down to a ninety degree angle. THEN I noticed that 2x4, and how it is on top of the cardboard...no way the birds managed that on their own! The birds are clearly paying my husband rent on our porch, and he is doing his best to be a good landlord!

With steam pouring out of my ears, I demanded to know why the cardboard was replaced in this manner. I was told that it was temporary, and he had no idea they would start to rebuild so quickly. Temporary? Like the useless wire from three years ago? Or the birdie balance beams? Those birds would be disappointed to know that their rebuilding efforts were questioned like that!

On my way to work, I realized there was only one person who might understand my dismay. Let's call her my other husband...the one who understands. That is what so many of us women need...those friends who truly empathize with our plight and have the time/interest/energy to listen to/put up with/help us. I went to this friend's house last week to perform my husbandly duty of helping her to move a ginormous chair up the basement stairs. Now for a man and wife, the moment when we got the chair and ourselves lodged in a stairway with two bottom steps missing could've been the makings for a heated exchange and one really lousy evening. However, we laughed ourselves silly, knowing we'd figure out something, and then have a snack--hooray!

Anyway, back to the birds...this is what I came home to after work that day...

You guess which husband did it!

p.s. It's been four days, and there are no birds, and no poop....just a delightful sound of bugs "tinging" off the tinfoil at night, if I leave the porch light on.

4 comments:

  1. YOU ARE FREAKING ME OUT WITH THE BIRDS.
    Great, I think one pooped on my head.

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  2. Congratulations! I wouldn't have thought of that. Speaking of husbands, X (when we were still married) and my daughter moved an old couch to our basement at my request. X insisted the couch couldn't possibly go down the stairs. My daughter said it could and she knew how to do it. X wouldn't listen. He insisted on pretty much throwing the couch over the stair rail and into the family room. I always listened when my daughter told me how to do something. X never listened to anyone. When I moved out, he said he'd never be able to get the couch out of the basement. I ignored him. He was always convinced that problems couldn't be solved.

    Love,
    Janie

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  3. good solution, thank goodness. and the birds are saying Curses, foiled again.........

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  4. That's a great idea! I'm glad they have moved on!

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