Considering my legendary superhero status, there was obviously to be some clamoring for me to select a sidekick. I did let my husband accompany on my walk one day, as a trial of sorts, since no capes were involved. He managed to keep up with my pace, but did so with his hands jammed in his jacket's pockets. It was unnatural and disturbing. He looked ridiculous, and I should know. I was dismayed at both the fact that he was gaining on me, and that he had not done any research into how to walk. I wonder if the neighbors thought I was being chased, by some sketchy guy, in the slowest pursuit ever. I hope that was not what they were thinking, not only because my husband does not deserve that reputation, but also because nobody offered any help. Suffice to say, the husband did not make the list of candidates. Plus I have a sneaking suspicion he might have tried to play it off like I was his sidekick. I do not think so. Being in charge of lightbulb changing hardly makes one the top dog.
Speaking of dogs, the next logical choice would have been he who walks with me every day, and most of the time twice. The Foz. The fact that he does not own a cape, and is too frightened to move when donning any sort of apparel, did not make him an outstanding applicant. However, what really did him in was the fact that he has short legs. This is not intended as an insult to his entire shih-tzu breed, just a plain fact. His eighteen inch stature does not enable him to keep pace with my, seemingly giant, sixty-four inch height. Even if he did manage to get his legs into a running rhythm, I am fairly certain he would not be able to keep it up for as long as thirty minutes. Also stacked against him is the fact that he has nowhere to clip a pedometer.
|(Insert fantastic background music here.)|
|Please note: We are not actually flying.|
Despite being unable to fly on his own free will, being a small dog can have fabulous potential to be airborn. Just the other day, we were experiencing wind gusts over thirty-five miles per hour. My mind was blown away by the magnficent strength of the breeze. Meanwhile, short legs was almost literally blown away by the wind. I held tight to his leash in the event that he became a furry kite.