Thursday, January 2, 2014

Pedomemom checks in

Remember me? Pedomemom?
Apparently there was some sort of misunderstanding that I was to be a seasonal superhero? Where is the challenge in that? Sure the temperature dropped a little bit, but that feast in November was mashed small potatoes, and quite frankly insulted my abilities to haul that woman's body out for a walk. 

I admit that the fall months were not enough training or preparation for what the next holiday was to bring. I had a hard time navigating my way through the dense layers of stress insulation, and was offended by how easily I was ignored. My cape and I were shoved so far down the list of things needing attention. Wrapping paper and tape in the top five? Are you kidding me? Then to add insult to injury, she rang in the new year with laundry and low speed wandering through the house. I could not keep quiet anymore.


Santa did not receive my request for one of those capes like the football players get to wear on the sidelines! They look kind of heavy which I think could serve dual purposes by not just keeping me warm, but also upping the exertion of my workout carrying that heft on my back. I suppose it is just one more idea to go in the file for Pedomemom merchandising.

The windchill here is -9 right now and the snow is piling up. I did get our friend to stop eating cookies long enough to shovel the driveway a couple of times today, as opposed to her usual break from baked goods to just eat candy instead. The one thing the two of us can agree on is that the elliptical is evil. In closing for today, I present:

Pedomemom’s Top Five Reasons To Despise the Elliptical

5. Stale indoor air renders cape lifeless.

4. Constant beeping of the machine is clearly an attempt to rally other household appliances to revolt.

3. The water mark on the ceiling is impossible to ignore.

2. The scenery at two miles is no better than that at the one mile mark.

1. The threat of falling off the street is practically non-existent.

7 comments:

  1. LMAO ….and I'm getting on my elliptical after the game….you crack me up! I especially like #2 *giggles*

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I knew my elliptical's beeping was some sort of "Independence Day" type coordinating between the coffee maker & alarm clock. Dastardly technology no?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too cute for words - I'll be on the lookout for "one of those capes like football players get to wear", if I find one I'll be giving you the heads up!

    Cheers - Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yay Pedomemom! Leave that elliptical alone and brave the elements...after all, your body burns more fat when it is cold!

    ReplyDelete
  5. But at least with the elliptical you don't have to worry about bad weather making your hair frizzy. This is always my first concern when I get crazy thoughts about exercising

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yay, pedomemom!! I missed her. I'm glad she's back to kick your lazy, cookie eating butt into shape!

    Now, where's MY pedomemom to do the same. My fat, lazy, cookie eating self needs a cape as well.

    ReplyDelete