Sunday, January 26, 2014

Superhero Sunday: Logo

I decided that the walking symbol scotch taped to an Under Armour shirt lacked the kind of majesty in a logo I wanted to be identified with. I took some relief in the fact that I was no longer being referred to as Pedometer Girl, but was anxious to move to the next level. I might have been a little vague on having any actual ideas of my own, and since neither of us really knew how to draw, we sought outside help. 

The husband and his contacts were our first choice. I thought I was being articulate when I asked for a caped walking woman. I said I did not necessarily want her to be in my likeness because I wanted her to be more “every woman.” I realize now that I am nothing if not every woman, and am uncertain as to who I thought I was when I gave those specifications. I might have been thinking of hair color, and thought a blonde woman might not want to wear a tshirt with a brunette on the front. Sometimes when I type things out loud I realize how ridiculous they are, but unfortunately not any sooner. 

Let us review: We wanted a graphic to represent an alter ego who is a pedometer wearing mom who sometimes wears a cape while hoofing through the neighborhood. It all made perfect sense…to the female mind.

I neglected to account for the fact that I was speaking to a man, not known for his stellar listening skills, who was then going to talk to another man. It never occurred to me that we were about to embark on something similar to a childhood game of Operator. 

The husband called to alert me that the email containing the new graphic logo was in transit. Here is what arrived...

She was an amazing vision in black and pink silhouette with my block letter name “Pedomemom” bursting off the scene. I was stunned. After blinking a few times I realized that the name wasn’t the only thing popping off the screen. This woman was built, like crazy. I told the husband she seemed a little sexy for me. Her hair was a hot mess, much more so than what I see in my shadow on a windy day. Then I noticed her heels, and realized they were attached to thigh-high boots. How impractical. Yes, that was my primary concern, that she was impractical. The boots ended where the next region of discomfort started. Now I had posted a picture of myself wearing my actual get up on the internet both on Facebook and on my blog. I took great care to select a picture that had no issues, camel-related or otherwise, below the belt. This woman, on the other hand, seemingly had no concerns. With the husband waiting on the other end of the phone, I tried to come up with more feedback than her sexiness and inappropriate footwear. He mentioned that her pedometer was missing…yes, THAT would fix it. We ended the call agreed that she should also wear sneakers.

I started to realize that as taken in as I was with the creation, she absolutely did not jive with the intended purpose. I could not have people thinking this was how we saw ourselves, nor did I want them to think I was a tramp of an alter ego. I really was envious of her hair, but did not think she got it that way from walking in the wind. I suppose I was also envious, as even though this was only a silhouette, I was pretty sure that bitch even knew how to put makeup on. I called the husband back.

“Um, I wear a jacket when I walk sometimes. Or, you know, a shirt that isn’t so fitted all the way to the bottom. Maybe a little flare out at the bottom of her shirt, like have her looking like she is wearing a shirt, and less chesty.”

“Yeah, the funny thing is he asked me if he had given her enough cleavage.”

Oh dear.

“Why don’t you email him back yourself with your specifics?”

Why don’t I crawl under a rock until the notion of this whole thing being a terrible idea goes away?

“Um, I’d really feel more comfortable if you did it, since I feel awkward discussing payment and such.”

Yeah. That was why I felt awkward. It had nothing to do with the heaving bosoms I wanted deflated a bit and the f-me boots I wanted turned into sneakers. It had absolutely nothing to do with telling him to take this hot sexy vision of a super hero and turn her into Frumptastic Gal!

Stay tuned for the new version...


  1. I think she's perfect, just switch out the boots for sneakers and put a T-shirt on her.

  2. Ok, I love her. The thigh high FM boots.....oh yeah!! I think you should reconsider. Hehehe

  3. Wait . . . you mean you DON'T wear thigh high F me boots, a leotard and a cape when walking around the neighborhood, bosoms heaving and such? I think it looks JUST like you!

  4. Oh, come on! She is perfect! Give her a whip, too, so she can "whip you into shape!"


    Are there any actual women who look the way men usually draw us? What the heck is going on in those male brains? I cannot wait to see the final product!

  5. LMAO I love this version. Southern women always have a skewed perception of themselves, so she'd (the t-shirt) sell like hotcakes here in the Deep South! I want one.

  6. Hahaha! Is she wearing anything besides boots and cape? It's hard to tell. And like you said, that really is impractical.