Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Sugar-coat it...please

I like baked goods and candy. There, I have said it. We can talk about sugary confections at length, provided you are going to offer me something that has some general resemblance to what is being discussed. Brown sugar, molasses and enriched flour? What could be more soothing? It probably seems, to the untrained or unfamiliar eye, that I do not like or know how to relax. While my methods and practices may appear unconventional, relaxation does manage to find its way into my life.

I understand the part exercise can play in a rational person's path to unwinding. I just often prefer to pave that road with rock candy, turn on the headlights, and search for gummy bears and other forest crullers critters. Sorry, I got distracted. So as I was saying, I have nothing against exercise. You can feel free to engage in aerobic fitness at any time, provided it does not interrupt my own relaxation time. Just to clarify, here are some examples of exercise that bother me:

  • If I am sitting on the beach, I have no appreciation for a man doing his stretching and push up routine in the sand behind me. Granted, he was not blocking my view of the waves, but just knowing he was back there had a negative impact on my lounging. 
  • When I sit down at the end of what I have deemed a full day, I do not take kindly to the sound of my husband on the elliptical. How can I enjoy a handful of m&m's and a soft sofa cushion with the sounds of those foot pedals taunting me in the background?

Make no mistake, there are some rare occasions when baked goods fail to lull me into a carefree confectionery sugar dusted haze. This is not to say that I will send a mini-chocolate chip encrusted cannoli packing. That would be rude and wasteful.
However, when the accompanying bakery box that is brought home has a disproportionate amount of goodies in relation to the number of snackers in our house, I get nervous...especially when the husband reveals his plan to eat none of the gluten fest selections.
My sugar racing mind, that has been fueled by cannoli cream has nowhere to run except to some sort of Hansel and Gretel scenario. Why is he trying to fatten us up? How much energy does he think two teenagers expend on one summer afternoon to warrant such a caloric landslide? As if checking his pedometer, running away on the elliptical and his sauntering through the kitchen in his gel lined bike shorts aren't enough to remind me of his commitment to healthy activity. Then he has to display self-control and willpower as well? Nothing spoils a perfectly decent brownie quicker that gloating, or at least the illusion of gloating I have created.

I suppose it stands to reason that baked goods fit into my meditation plans more often than yoga. I tend to use the excuse of how much time exercise takes, as in probably one-third of the time it took me to sit writing this post. It is just not that easy to eat rice crispy treats and do pilates at the same time.

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25 comments:

  1. Hahaha! I totally feel you. Sweets of all kinds are my friends(as long as they don't contain raisins) - gluten-free, chock-full of gluten - I'm not picky. I have a love/hate relationship with exercise. Boxing has helped me lose nearly 50 pounds (and I can still enjoy occasional desserts), so I'm going to stick with it.

    P.S. The man stretching on the beach made me laugh. My daughter despises "public stretching", and she always makes hilarious comments to me anytime she sees someone do it.

    Karen

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    Replies
    1. Boxing away 50 pounds is fantastic!

      I wish your daughter had been with me. My brother did at least utter "take it to a gym" under his breath!

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  2. as a fellow sugar addict, i say here here. i mean, bring some over here, now. ;)

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    1. I don't love ice cream nearly as much as you, but it'll do in a pinch. How about if I bring something to put under the ice cream!

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  3. This post right here is at the heart of our friendship. When I accidentally on purpose devour a bag of hapless gummi bears, I know that you will understand!

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    Replies
    1. Things wouldn't be packaged all in one bag if they intended any differently!

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  4. After reading this, I'm headed out to find myself a cupcake, stat.

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  5. This made me hungry. And that man on the beach. Annoying.

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    Replies
    1. Thank goodness we have brownies tonight!

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  6. I hate when I decide to take a day or two off of exercise and my husband jumps on the elliptical. It makes me feel guilty so maybe I will get over it by eating chocolate.

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    Replies
    1. Oh than goodness it isn't just me!!!! Yes the chocolate helps...eventually...especially dark, since that's like health food!

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  7. Replies
    1. Good because baked goods love company...company who will also eat baked goods that is!

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  8. oddly I've never been a sugar person. Can I say I'll probably because I've never met a cannoli I don't like.

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    Replies
    1. I would typically grab a bag of chips first, but then when the sugar rains, it pours!

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  9. Well, now I'm hungry. I have to agree with you that there is nothing more annoying than someone distracting my snacking by exercising in my vicinity. Rude! Lol

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  10. I have such a weakness for baked goods, as well. And I'm afraid I've passed it on to my kids. Their favorite thing to do is get a cookie or cupcake from the bakery. And just seeing someone at the grocery store in workout clothes makes me feel guilty.

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  11. I don't know what you're talking about. Writing this post was exercise. You had to think of the idea of it, thus stretching your mind. Then you had to come up with an appropriate way to tell this story, which involved mental gymnastics. Then there was the typing, which involved physical activity. See? That cannoli was well deserved!! ;)

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  12. I'm a sweets person, too - three baking classes, and I was hooked! I've even made cream puffs in the shape of swans; how's that for exercise? ;)

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  13. I love candy, but not baked goods. Weird, huh? And I choose salty over sweet 90% of the time. That being said, I almost licked the picture of the cannoli...

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  14. High five, high five. Love all of the above. And I really love your paranoia when you get a gift with so many of them. :)

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  15. LOL I literally just got of the elliptical! ;P I was late getting on the thing due to HS orientation tonight. I don't eat sweets very often. I'm one of those salty snackers....give me a bucket of buttered popcorn and I'm in heaven! (yep, I said bucket....)

    School starts next week for us..... YAY!!!!!

    xo,
    RJ

    PS My daughter's hippie high school only allows healthy vegan snacks during the day.....no gluten, sugar, Red Dye #7, or fat. My daughter almost cried at that announcement tonight

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  16. One should never waste baked goods of any kind. Especially cannoli.

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