Random wears

We interrupt this post (that we didn't even start yet) to bring you the latest in Barnswallow News. Yes, they're back. My attempts this morning to prevent further visitation did not foil their efforts! (Double groan…one for them sitting in the space I did not cover and two for the bad pun!) Eek! I had to try to secure the whole perimeter. I took a break to explain to the newer neighbors what I was doing with the ladder and the foil and the yelling. It helped that I was getting swooped upon while telling my tale from our walkway. At least they don't think I am completely crazy.

See him there getting foiled...

Here are two of them having a meeting to discuss alternate ways to take me out...

Here is a little video so you can hear how terrified I sound angry they are…

And then they moved where they thought I couldn't see them could poop on my head if I left the porch.

There is still much squawking and diving-style flying going on out there. I suppose you are wondering what role Fozzie is playing in this wildlife extravaganza? Really? Do you really think he has mustered up any ambition to develop his role in tactical defense? Perhaps I should give you this reminder of how he rolls…

Speaking of Foz, he claims he was outvoted on his pick for my Mother's Day present...

…thank goodness!

Let's move on with our originally scheduled topic for today's random, shall we? (Yes, I know, it pretty much seems like we have enough going on here already to call it a wrap, but we are still working off the April backlog.)

I was texting with a friend and shared this magazine ad that was in front of me...

The name is so subtle. I said I would not go to the website. Absolutely not! Aaaaaaaand...boom, there I was!

Did you take your time reading that list to let it all sink in? Girl shorts = shiny depends? Which celebrities? I am going to need names here. My friend and I pondered the doubling as shapewear and "ecofriendly". What does "ecofriendly" even mean in this scenario? Machine washable? I hope so. Just for the record, if you ever see me reeling from a certain special time of the month, I can almost assure you that it is not a hug that I need.

As I got back to the magazine that assaulted me with flo-pants, I landed on this gem - the "hold-all bra".

Now I can barely find a bra that conducts the holding business I expect from a decent undergarment, so I do not need one that functions as a backpack. My iphone in my bra...when I exercise? There goes the "don't get it wet" road to a voided warranty. I think there is an identity crisis going on here as well, as it is allegedly for workouts, yet found at travelbra. Where am I going? I have visions of my already cranky exercising self getting jabbed repeatedly by my credit cards and hotel keys (as if I was exercising on vacation to begin with)...no, just no.