Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Random rejects

Sometimes you just need a minute of peace. Just enough of a break in the day to take a few deep breaths...

Maybe this can be done while you wait to give your peg legged son a ride home from his friend's house...that is unless the calm is interrupted by a freaky feline pouncing on the hood of your car, scaring the bejeebers out of you. Peek-a-boo!
Maybe you can fill your lungs with a fresh breeze, you know, fling all of the windows open in the house and just close your eyes and inhale. You hear the words "there's a bird on the window" so very calmly uttered that you half expect to see one of Cinderella's sweet animated bluebirds looking to help with housework...that is until you wander over to take a photo of the spectacle and see that the bird is very real, very yellow, and wants in. Hello Goldfinch and slight hole you're working on!
Another gorgeous day without a speck of humidity in the air, and you may even forget the avian adventure from the day before. The tin foil on the front porch is holding its own, so what could there be to worry about. Cleansing breath in through the nose, out through the...what is that scratching sound? What. The. Hell. Hello greenish bird I am too lazy to look up in my bird book, or maybe I just don't really want to know who you are, because I don't think we need to be close first name basis friends.
Sure, the daily regiment of peanut m&m's helps maintain a balance for me, but sometimes it helps to have a more potent elixir on hand. I treated myself to one of the new core flavors from Ben and Jerry's. I was giddy, and salivating, with anticipation (deep breaths) as I saw my daughter open her carton of brownie core to reveal such a core-riffic splendor. Then I opened mine...
...um, hello? Where was my caramel core? Where was my moment of sanity? Are you freaking kidding me? I dug down a little bit to see if the salted caramel gooeyness was just shy...nope. Yes, of course I contacted Ben & Jerry's via their online comment link, letting them know I had been rattled to my core by a lack thereof. I considered opting for snail mail so I could include this sad photo, but the extra step of printing it might have put me right over the edge. (Hey, I wonder what would happen if you sent letters to companies you loved to praise them, or even let then know when issues were found?)

Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? How about an old standard?
As you can see, I did not lay out the big bucks for a full pint, as I was still feeling the scorn and longing for my missing salted caramel. I also thought an actual single serving size was a better idea than calling something much larger a single serving. Cute? Yes. Totally satisfying? Hmm...

Don't forget to breathe...in...and out!


  1. We have found what is quite possibly the best ice cream on earth--Yuengling (yes, THAT Yeungling!) Black and Tan. Belgian Chocolate and Salted Caramel. Best. Ice Cream. Ever. (Also expensive, but you can occasionally find it on sale.)

  2. I'm surprised you didn't snatch your daughter's chocolate core out of her hand. Or was she smart enough to eat it in one bite?
    and that Goldfinch will make progress. Birds don't give up. Breathe......indeed

  3. It's 98 degrees here. I'm sucking in air conditioning and plenty of freon.

    You were so jipped by Ben & Jerry. *sadface* Are you needing a salted caramel fix, my friend???


  4. It's only 97 here, but 67% humidity, so we are staying inside as much as possible. We now have lovebirds in our backyard--three of them! Yeah, I don't know what is up with that. Keep breathing!

  5. A day without humidity sounds like a day without Illinois. I long for a day without Illinois. Several days. Actually, I'm quite embarrasses that I'm an Illinoisan. This got weird. I love ice cream.